Nothing Different
by Totoro504
Summary: "You sold half naked pictures of him in the shower to rabid fan girls. They scanned those pictures and posted it online. The government got involved at one point because it was considered child pornography since he's "under eighteen". Didn't expect the pictures to become a hit online huh? This is why I think he has a valid reason to avoid you."
1. Watanabe Miki

**Me: Seriously guys, I made this out of sheer spite. I get so pissed off watching Vampire Knight sometimes because they're so EMO. I love them and all cause of the hot guys and kind of decent plot, BUT CHILL DOWN WITH EMO-NESS. This is a reason why I have made a hyperactive OC. If you're looking for drama and, "I'M A HALF VAMPIRE!" or some kind of shit that goes along those lines, this is not for you. This is _also_ not for you if you can't handle rated R jokes and stupidity. So yeah, see ya!** **AND AIDOU!**

**Aidou: What?**

**Me: Disclaimer please?**

**Aidou: Only if you call me Idol-sama.**

**Me:...ZERO!**

**Aidou: OKAY I'LL DO IT! Humans are so annoying! Matsuri Hino belongs Vampire Knight. The (pathetic) author decided to have fun with us for a while... =_= Gross.**

* * *

**Chapter One:**

**Watanabe Miki**

"If my balls are blue, and I'm yellow, doesn't that mean I have green balls?"

Watanabe Miki was not a meticulous person.

Miki—a typical Japanese girl with an abnormal height of 5'6—was easy to decipher with just one look. Her dyed blonde hair was symbolic to show fellow classmates that she absolutely _refused_ to look the same as every one of them because each damn person had either brown or black hair—with the exception of Sayori (honey-colored hair), Zero (silver), the chairman (extremely light brown perhaps?), and the Night Class. Her large gray eyes always showed a mischievous glint, warning intelligent people to stray away from the sixteen-year-old before she wreaked havoc. She was a straight D student bordering on F for every class except physical education. Her attention span was really short unless it was focused on any activities involving movements like archery, track, judo, dancing, and etc. etc. She was the sporty type—not the books. The description, "All brawns and no brains!" matched her perfectly. All in all, if you shove this girl in a large classroom with only two exits (minus the windows), she would either A) Fall asleep or B) Do something stupid. Not C) Listen to the teacher, take notes, and study.

"My students, I would love for you to listen to me instead of falling asleep or start another conversation. I know my voice is dull, and it's only 9:18, but please. I'm only trying to help you pass high school so you can graduate. The faster you graduate, the faster you can get out of here. Isn't that what you all want?" There were a large group of creatures with the X chromosomes protesting because they wouldn't get to see the precious Night Class anymore. Miki, with years of practice, tuned them out. If she was honest with herself, she preferred to exercise than look at boys. The fake blonde had a knack for judging people with just one look. Whether they were attractive or not, she could tell by observing their personalities and habits and concluded that guys at Cross Academy were assholes; even if she was friends with a lot of them from her sports club.

One example of her good judgment was Kiryuu Zero. He was strangely quiet and rarely spoke unless spoken too, even to a teacher. His looks were natural at that—with silver hair and lavender colored eyes. He wasn't a school failure or genius, he was somewhere in the middle for academics. Yet she was sure that he possessed a very large amount of strength somewhere. He carried a different air around him than normal teens. Miki was sure, that if she ever decided to interact with him, she would do her best to piss him off until she saw him yell at her because he was good at keeping his voice in check when he spoke to "normal" people. The only exception were the Night Class, Yuuki, the chairman, and fan girls! He treated everyone with common sense like fleas; like they were a waste of his time. And yeah, he was an asshole. This is the exact reason why she refused to go out with any guy. However, Miki could see how Zero was just a big "cuddly bear who cries when he sleeps" near Yuuki. There was just something about the two….

"TEACHER! I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! JUST IN CASE YOU KNOW, I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THIS SUBJECT OF….Yori-chan, what subject is this?"

"Science." Wakaba Sayori had been stuck next to Watanabe in the beginning of the year, but the blonde girl was very adept of befriending everyone in the Day Class with her uncanny and friendly personality. Plus Sayori and Yuuki kept her in line when the time came.

Miki then jabbed an index finger at the older man with eagerness, "SCIENCE. I LOVE SCIENCE, AND I HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION IN YOUR CLASS SINCE THE BEGINNING."

The man raised a thinning white eyebrow, "I was reviewing the periodic table for students who might not remember it. Care to recite it in order?"

"Uhh….H-H-H-H-Hy-Hy-Hyperactivity and then Hentai?" she stuttered out, embarrassed.

The entire class doubled over in laughter at her antics.

"It's Hydrogen, and then Helium."

* * *

"So hey, why are girls getting so annoying lately? I noticed that they were talking about the Night Class more than usual. Hell, I even saw some girls in Home Ec. throw some hair into the food they were cooking. It was gross, but I wanted to try some to see if it tasted good at all," Miki said aloud, stretching her legs before settling herself on the grass besides Yuuki and Sayori. She dug through her bag and found her lunch, pulling it out with one fluid motion.

Yuuki sighed, shaking her head. "It's because in two more days, it will be Valentine's Day."

"So?"

"_So_, it means girls want to prepare their chocolate for the Night Class. Duh! I wish you pay attention these kinds of things more Miki-chan, " Yuuki explained.

"For once, I have to agree with Miki. There is nothing important about Valentine's Day," Sayori admitted, in her soft calming tone. "Besides, the Night Class kind of creep me out. They're the private type of people."

"Like you?"

"Worse."

"You two are so…ugh. Never mind. The point is, these girls are desperate to give their chocolates to the Night Class. It's going to be so packed on Valentine's Day, about half of them won't even get the chance to have their chocolates delivered. They would practically pay a lot of money to have a person deliver their things to them. But it's impossible with the securities set around Cross Academy."

"Wait, you're saying these lunatics will pay to have their chocolates delivered to those freaks?"

"Mmhmm."

"I see…" A mischievous idea formed in her head as Miki stuffed her store-brought onigiri down her throat quickly, barely chewing before swallowing. It was oddly fascinating, yet disgusting, to see her eat anything that was edible in under five minutes. "Hey Yori-chan! Pass me my orange juice!"

"Here."

"Thanks!" She slurped it down, and threw the empty container and wrapper in the trashcan with precision. "SCORE!"

Yuuki shook her head with a soft smile, "You should really try eating slower. It's bad for your health."

"Awww! Are you worried about me?"

"Of course!" Yuuki replied sincerely.

The athlete patted her head. "Thanks honey, but don't worry. I'll be fine. I want to take a run before class starts again. Bye you guys!" She slung her bag over her shoulder and jogged around the school building quickly and to the gates where the Moon Building. Her eyes darted up and down the blocked entrance with the large wooden doors in the way. "Tch! Damn. I won't have a problem getting down. _Getting up_ there would be a challenge." She checked her watch and realized she had twenty more minutes left. Pacing around the front with her hands in her pockets of her skirt, she snapped her fingers loudly. Running over to the side, she climbed in the tree and stood on the tallest branch before jumping on the top of the entrance of the Moon Dorm. She paced above it with a perfect set of balance due to sports, and put her hands up to shield her eyes away from the sun.

"If I do this, I can just throw the chocolates to them! OR, I can use a bow and arrow and shoot it on their doors! The girls would definitely pay me a lot for this! I wonder how much I should charge them for an item. Maybe five hundred yen an item? Oh Watanabe Miki, you're such a genius! HAHAHAHA!"

"What are you doing?"

She looked down to see bright blonde hair and blue eyes. A hot guy. Awesome. She crouched on the little platform the entrance offered to her lanky body, unaware that she was giving the boy underneath her a free show of her underwear. "I'm checking out the Moon Dorm, obviously."

He raised a blonde brow with amusement and curiosity, hands in his pockets as he leaned back on the wall to shade himself, head lolled back to keep eye contact with her the entire time. And to catch the nice view! It was quite beautiful today. "If I remembered correctly, aren't you in the Sun dormitory? Shouldn't you be in—"

She cut him off, "Who cares? Hey hey! What's your name? Are you European? You look like one!"

Her questions caught him off guard, and he feigned a gasp, "I'm shocked! Everyone knows who I am! I have such beautiful looks and a charming personality! Surely, you must have heard of me! I'm very popular among your kind!"

Her eyebrows scrunched up. "Your kind? What is that, a European saying? THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXTREMELY DEROGATORY TERM!"

"The Day Class of course!"

"Oh!" Miki brought his lie. "Well if you're so popular, how come I don't know you?"

"Maybe you're an outcast?"

"Nah! I'm too popular!"

"_You_? _Popular_. Please, I hear lies all of the time, but at least theirs sounds believable. A girl that lacks mannerism and femininity is in no way _popular_."

Miki glared at her and crossed her arms. "Screw you! I'm telling the truth ya' know! I'm the face of the girls' sports team! And for your information, I am AWESOME. I don't need to look good or have really, really nice grades to prove that. My personality is much more likeable compared to your shitty ass one! The only reason why girls must like you is because you're a DOUCHE. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, A DOUCHE. D-O-U-S-H-E."

"You spelled douche wrong."

"Wow, fantastic baby. So tell me, what's your name?"

He seemed very eager to give her his name, "Aidou Hanabusa! My fans call me Idol!"

"Your name sounds pretty….Hmmm. I really need to improve my vocabulary to find the right term to describe this confusing feeling I am having now."

"Cool?" Aidou questioned, wondering if she even had the simple word in her vocabulary list at all.

"No, I was thinking of homosexual." She smiled widely, satisfied when he became flustered with her response. "Anyway, my name's Watanabe Miki! Nice to meet you Aidou! Maybe we can become friends later on when you get that pole out your butt!"

Aidou's blue eyes widened at her blunt statement and he frowned. Friends with an idiotic human? Preposterous. Humans only served as meals to him. Nothing more, nothing less. "I'd rather eat goat than be friends with some girl who wears panda printed underwear!" Let's face it, Aidou was lying to himself. The sight of her knickers were very different than those, "I want your ting-ting in me!" underwear girls showed him. And cooked goat meat was pretty damn delicious.

"OH YEAH? WELL I'D RATHER BE RAPED BY AN OLD MAN OBSESSED WITH HENTAI THAN LOOK AT YOUR FACE!"

"NOT EVEN THAT OLD MAN WOULD WANT TO RAPE YOU!"

"SAY THAT AGAIN YOU SLY SON OF A BITCH!"

"I _SAID_, **NOT EVEN A**—"

"Aidou." Aidou froze on the spot and slowly craned his head to meet eyes with the one and only pureblood in the entire school, Kuran Kaname. The pureblood looked strangely amused by the events playing out. "You are supposed to be inside sleeping." His auburn eyes then settled on Miki. "Miss, please go back to class. You are disturbing the dorm with your _different_ presence." Oh Kaname. Did he think that he was going to get to her by using _proper manners_?

She waved a hand, getting a hint that he was trying to be nice and not offensive, "Don't worry. I get that a lot." Aidou snorted. "I just wanted to check this place out for once. Anyway, see ya—wait!" The two males sent her an inquisitive stare. Miki dug in her pockets and pulled out a small piece of clothing wrapped out. "I stole this from one of my classmates as a prank, but since flower boy over there seems depraved of a female touch, he can have the next best thing." She threw it at his face, and he caught it with his finger expertly.

Unfolding it, his face flushed red in anger and he glared at her. "I DO NOT NEED A BRA—!"

"Happy birthday!" Leaning back, she fell off and landed on the ground safely, dashing back to class with laughter of mirth.

"That girl!" Aidou huffed, pissed.

Kaname held back a chuckle and decided he would let Aidou off this time. Aidou had not violated the rule by leaving the Moon Dorm technically, and he had done nothing to reveal their secrets. The shocking part was that the blonde vampire had been interacting with a human without once, flirting with her to gather information on whether or not she would be a tasty snack. A very good improvement of promoting peace between vampires and humans. Kaname headed back inside the dorm with Aidou trailing behind him, both of their minds preoccupied with the thought of the blonde girl with the dirty sense of humor.

_Who was she?_

* * *

By the end of the day, Miki had managed to secure an entire bag of boxed chocolates with a large amount of five-hundred yen coins filling her money bag. She grinned widely and tied up the end of the cloth, making huge knots. Fiddling with a pocket full of keys, she whistled to herself in amusement and strode to the Archery's equipment room. Picking one labeled for archery, she unlocked the door and went inside to grab a bow; testing out a few arrows, she secured tons that would be able to hold the bag. Practicing shooting with the bag attached and seeing how far it lasted, she settled for them. "This will do for the meantime!" she said happily. Walking out the storage room with the bow, arrows, and bag, she locked it back up and ran back to the dorm before the prefect got all prissy on her. Even if Yuuki was her friend, the girl would not spare her any mercy—_especially_ not after she would find out that Miki had every key to the entire building except the Moon Dorm's entrance, and the Chairman's office. The blonde was a pranker at heart.

It was the same exact time she exited the school to head back to her dorm, were the Night Class walking—very slowly, mind you—to the building. It was Miki's first time seeing them, and her thoughts went along the line of: _Wow! No wonder why the fan girls gave me the money! They knew that they had no chance to get the chocolates to them! But they are hot. If it weren't for the fact that all of them look so emo and depressing like Zero, I might have a crush on them. _She whistled innocently and put on a bright façade, stepping to the side of the path to walk to avoid them. Her attempts were deemed useless when a certain natural blonde recognized her from the bushes and trees being her background.

"YOU!" Aidou yelled, pointing at her.

"Me?"

"YES! YOU!"

Miki scratched the side of her head with the bow, frowning. "Yeeeeeeeesssss?" She shuffled her feet, her eyebrows furrowing together. "What about it? You want my autograph or something? Err…I don't have a pen with me, but if you want, I can puke in your shoe. A lot of my fans wanted me to do that for them after I won the girl's baseball team school championship." She had no decency at all, the others picked up. If it wasn't for the fact that Aidou was _yelling_ at her, the human wasn't _squealing_, she _carried_ a _weapon_ around, _and_ she was extremely _stupid, _they would have thought she was an average human. Now _that_ was something different.

Aidou grew frustrated with her, "You mean you don't remember me? We met this morning! You even gave me this!" He pulled out a pink bra in her face and caused the vampires to back away in revolt to see him holding up something…not decent to present to the public eye. (Public eye being held specifically to the noble vampires that gossiped a lot.) The evident events playing out made Ruka and the rest conclude that Aidou Hanabusa was, indeed, a pervert at heart.

"DUDE, YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND? GOOD FOR YOU!" Miki slapped the side of his arm roughly in a playful manner. She grinned widely in a boyish way. "You know, for a second, I pegged you as the type to never get laid. Like you know," she leaned closer to him with a hand by her mouth whispering, "a _virgin_. Shh! Don't worry, I'll keep it a secret between you and me! I got your back stranger!" Miki stepped back, her face portraying a person that just told him his parents got hit by a car. Obviously, the vampires, with their acute hearings brought their hands up to their mouth to resist laughing at Aidou's misery.

"But—but…But we met this morning when you came to the Moon Dorm!" Aidou was feeling irritated at the thought of being forgotten in merely a couple of hours. No one forgets Hanabusa Aidou after an argument! Yet here was the ugly creature categorized as a human, standing in front of him stating she did not know him. He would have thought she was lying for more attention, and if she was, it was working damn well! Yet…Her gray eyes looked at him earnestly with sincerity and happiness. "Ugh! I give up! Just take this back!" He shoved the bra into her occupied hand and marched into the school building with annoyance.

She cocked her head at Kaname and heaved her shoulders, face contorting into an odd expression. "What's his problem?"

Kaname shook his head and smiled, "Do not worry about him. He's just very _odd_."

"Riiiggghhhtttt, and I'm a model. Haha!" Did that just mean that she had disagreed with his statements on being weird? "I think he's more mental." Miki digressed. She pocketed the bra and then straightened her back. "Well then, I shall be going! GOODBYE MY WONDERFUL PEOPLE! I'll see you….Nah, forget it. I don't want to see you guys again. You all look depressing to be around. BYE!" Miki ran off with a giddy laugh.

"I think she was dropped on the head as a child," Shiki stated emotionlessly, after a moment of silence.

Nods of agreements came after his statement.

* * *

"Where have you been Miki-chan?"

"Showering like a person with good hygiene, duh!" Miki replied to her annoying roommate, Yakama Ai. The girl was boy obsessed, and it scared the crap out of the athletic girl a lot of times. Her side of the room's wall consisted of posters with the…She squinted her gray eyes and walked closer to a picture of a group. "Hey Ai, who are these people? They seem really familiar."

"_They_ are the Night Class!" Yakama jumped up from her bed and ran over to the poster and stood next to Miki, peppy. She began pointing and describing each one in the picture with enthusiasm that was never displayed in class or at her school competition or pep rally, "The guy with maroon hair and light blue eyes is Shiki Senri! He's so emotionless, but that's what makes him really attractive and cool!"

"Wait a minute, being an emo that could be potentially suicidal is attractive?"

"—And the girl with orange pigtails and cerulean-colored eyes is Touya Rima! She's the female version of Shiki! She's so pretty! By the way, both of them are models and everybody loves them!" Miki scratched the side of her head in confusion. Potentially suicidal teens were popular in the eyes of horny girls was strangely creepy. Yakama continued, "Then there's Akatsuki Kain! He has light orange hair and eyes, and he's really lean and tan and very wild.…" Her mouth began watering.

Miki's eyes almost rolled to the back of her head at Yakama's description.

"There's Seiren, but nobody cares about her."

"Harsh."

"Meh. And the nice looking guy with the blonde hair and green eyes is Ichijou Takuma! He's the most approachable out of everyone! He's very friendly, and talkative! I'm sure you would get along with him because he loves _manga_!"

"HE SOUNDS AWEOMSE LIKE _ME_!

Yakama rolled her dark brown eyes, "Sure. And the girl with the strawberry blonde hair and light brown hair is Souen Ruka. BE CAREFUL OF HER. She has a huge hatred for the Day Class! She's such a bitch though, always hogging up Kaname-sama! Humph!"

Miki didn't think she was all that much of a bitch, but for the sake of the conversation, she agreed, "YEAH! WHAT A FUCKING BITCH! I HATE HER SEXY BODY! I MEAN, LOOK AT THOSE LEGS! IT'S NOT SKIN AND BONES AT ALL!" That girl was _hot_.

"Exactly! Now this guy here, is very special! His name is Aidou Hanabusa and he's a huge flirt! He's sort of….weird, even for my standards. Last Valentine's Day, I remember his eyes turned red in the middle of nowhere." Yakama shivered. "I asked my friends about it, but they told me I was being delusional! I promise you on all of these pictures here that I wasn't! You don't think I'm crazy do you?"

"I believe in nyan cat."

"….Yeah, okay, forget what I told you. Your opinion is useless. So yes, last but not least is the very best leader, Kaname Kuran. ISN'T HE SO DAMN HOT? I just want to _unf_!"

"PLEASE! SAY NO MORE! "

"Fine! Geeze! And I thought you were the perverted one!" Yakama plopped on the bed the dorm provided. "So what's the huge bag for?"

Miki mimicked Yakama's actions and smiled. "Tomorrow, I'll be making a delivery of chocolates to the Night Class. That bag right there is the girl's chocolates! They paid me to give it to them after I told them of my victorious plan on how they would be sure to receive it!"

"And that victorious plan is?"

"Climb on top of the gates, and shoot the bag using the bow and arrow to make it the doorway! They'll _have_ to take it down! And from what you told me, if Ichiri—"

"Ichijou!"

"—found it, he would be sure to take it! Right?"

"…Surprisingly, you are intelligent!"

"I KNOW!"

Yakama smirked, "Only when money is involved."

"**_I KNOW_**."

"Idiot."

* * *

"Damn it! Yuuki's already up there!" Miki cursed loudly. A group of females surrounded her (the supporters who paid her) and Yakama rolled her eyes.

"You could be the one up there first if you just came here first instead of _changing_ into that ridiculous outfit of yours!"

"FOR YOUR FUCKING INFORMATION: This outfit goes perfectly well with my awesome bow and arrow! YOU SHOULD BE GLAD I'M EVEN HELPING YOU AT ALL!" Indeed, the Japanese girl had ran back to her room to change into her Kyudo uniform

"YOU MADE ME PAY YOU TO HELP ME BITCH!"

"I AM OFFENDED!"

"**GOOD**."

On the other side, Aidou rubbed his ears and frowned. "Is it that damn girl again?"

Kain nodded, "Most likely."

"Unmistakably, " the two emotionless couple said.

"She's so loud."

"HEY ASSHOLE! BEND DOWN!" The vampires exchanged looks. "EITHER YOU BEND DOWN, OR I **FORCE YOU** TOO—**THANK YOU** FOR COOPERATING WITH ME FOR ONCE!" Miki jumped on Yakama's back and propelled herself upwards, landing safely on the thin wall. "Whoo! That was a close one! I'm so glad I didn't die!"

Yuuki dragged a palm down her face. "Miki-chan what are you doing?" she shrieked, waving her hands wildly. "You shouldn't be doing this! Get down before you get hurt!"

Miki's face turned blank. "Babe."

Kaname raised his eyebrows at this.

"_Yes_, Miki-chan?" Yuuki sighed.

"I love you." Yuuki's face turned red and she lost balance, falling back. Thankfully, Zero was there to catch her. Miki caught Kaname's glare and gave him a thumbs up. "She's alive bro! Calm your titties down!" Crouching down, she observed the crowd and frowned with distaste. They didn't seem like the type to receive chocolates unless forced to. Now what? Her eyes darted around and she found the friendly blonde with green eyes. "Hey Ichishou—"

"**IT'S ICHIJOU FOR GOODNESS SAKE."**

"I'll give you my collection of Pandora Hearts if you tell me where your room is!"

Ichijou smiled and called back, "Sorry! I already have that!"

"Death Note?"

"The manga's too dark for me!"

"What about Katekyo Hitman Reborn?"

"Too childish!"

"YOU'RE CHILDISH!" Miki then calmed herself down and then searched his eyes, trying to figure out which manga he would like. Clapping her hands together, she offered one last time, "Fairy Tail?" She gave up reading the series after a while. She got caught up with sports too much to let the manga dominate her life.

"Deal! Third floor, second room to the end of the left." Ichijou clasped his hands together, pleased with himself. Miki tied the bag to the arrow and adjusted it on the bow. She couldn't take a stance without falling off, so she had to take a chance.

"You don't think she'll actually make it right?" Ruka asked, grimacing.

"Humans are very confusing. It all depends on which one. For now, let's just watch until the gates open," Kaname suggested.

Kain was the only one who seemed to use his head at this time, "If she makes it, she'll damage the windows!"

Aidou slapped a hand over his mouth, "Shut up! Don't be a party pooper!"

_Got it. _Miki released the end of the arrow, and watched it soar through the sky before crashing through the window and stabbing itself into the mahogany door of Ichijou's room.

"….You have got to be kidding me."

"Hey Ichinini, make sure to hand that out okay?" She then turned around, hands on her hips as she stuck her tongue out at Yakama. "TOLD YA I'D DO IT BITCH! HAHA! YOU LOSE!" She started whooping before she lost her balance and fell forward, landing on the solid ground with her butt as a cushion. A shout of pain left her and she cradled her bottom with a whine tugging at her lips. "That hurts!"

Yakama face-palmed, even if the girls who paid her started cheering in delight.

Miki looked up and gulped to see Yuuki looking at her worriedly with Zero glaring at her. She gulped and waved lightly, "Hi?" Scrambling to get up on her knees, she pushed herself to crawl on the ground to make it home. But seeing as how God was not on her side today, Yakama kicked her bottom and stepped on her back at the same time the gates opened. And it was like reading a cliché fanfic because Kaname zoomed straight at her, still wearing the same smile (fake or genuine) on his perfectly "carved" face.

"What is your name, miss?"

Yakama turned beet red and she got off of Miki, helping the taller girl up. She grumbled more foul words, rubbing her arse in the meantime before locking eyes with Kaname. "Yeeeessss?"

"What is your name?" He repeated.

"Watanabe Miki."

"That's such a lovely name. Well then, Watanabe-san, I'll send you the bill to the window you broke."

"I don't speak Japanese."

"You were just speaking Japanese." What a tough guy.

Miki scrunched her face up so hard it looked like she was constipated. Hopping on one foot, and then another, she began doing a ritual dance before clapping in his face. "You are having a dream~. A very good dream because the awesome me is in it~."

"I believe I'm still awake."

She last resorted to grabbing Zero arm and shoving him into Kaname before running away yelling, "YOLO!"

Yes, Watanabe Miki was not a meticulous person.

* * *

**Me: I have to say, I enjoyed writing a character on crack. Reviews?**


	2. Daily Life

**Me: I updated! YUUSSS!**

**Aidou: Pfft. Humans.**

**Me:...ICHIJOU!**

**Aidou: I WANT TO DO IT.**

**Me: Pfft. Sparkly gay vampires!**

**Aidou: I'M NOT SPARKLY, NOR GAY. But I am a vampire. _Ladies_.**

**Me: Ew.**

**Aidou: Vampire Knight and the plot belongs to Matsuri Hino. The author is just borrowing everything to write a romance about me. _Ladies._**

**Me: STOP HITTING ON THEM. GEEZE...**_**Ladies.**_

**Aidou: Silly human. Only I can give the _ladies_ the butterflies.**

**Me: =_=**

* * *

**Chapter Two:**

**Daily Life**

"I can't believe that all of my hard earned money has to be used on the window I broke," Miki sniffed, saddened as she stared at Kaname's letter and bill addressed to her. (She was called up to the office to be given this to her _personally_.) Stupid neat handwriting, and stupid bill. She pouted and wondered if there was another loophole to get out of paying for the broken window. It was so _expensive_. Expensive and a cheap Asian person were not very compatible together. Miki emitted a shrill screech, and fell to the ground on her knees, sobbing with buckets of tears leaving her eyes. "I DON'T WANT TO GIVE AWAY MY MONEY! I EARNED SO MUCH!"

"Greedy bastard." Yakama rolled her eyes and plucked the sheets of paper out of her hands and read through it. An impressed whistle left the brunette's lips. "Damn, that's a lot. Have fun paying that off. Unless you can get a rich, hardcore fan girl to pay it off for you, I just see you being broke poor after this." Miki blinked and grew silent. She then jumped up and grabbed a blank paper and pen, taking back the sheets of paper Yakama held. "What are you doing?"

"Studying the guy's handwriting. _Duh_."

"Why?"

Miki grinned, "I'm gonna forge his handwriting to convince another girl to pay for me. The only problem is that his kanji looks like a fucking painting. This will take me like…thirty minutes to imitate it. That's a long time! I could be sneaking to the kitchen and cook up a burrito!" Not only was she greedy, but she was also a _glutton_. This is why she spent most of her money buying cheap food, or accepting her fans lunch if they made any for her.

"If you try to cook a burrito, I will murder you. Last time you tried to make something in the kitchen, you almost _demolished_ the building. You better be damn lucky that the prefect was there to put out the explosion. " Yakama directed a sharp glare at Miki, and laid on her side, propping her head up with an arm. "Don't you think that they would figure out that it's fake?"

"Nah. They're all too stupid."

"True."

"DONE." Yakama rolled off her bed and stood next to Miki, reading the letter she had forged into resembling Kaname's handwriting.

_Dear beautiful Day Class girl,_

_Your hair is lovely as rat's nest. Your skin is flawless as the girl next door trying to lose weight. Your lips are cherry pink, and I can't stop thinking about how I want to kiss it and slobber all over it with my clean saliva. Therefore: Pay for the broken window._

_Love,_

_Kuran Kaname_

_P.S. Here's the bill, with my autograph and picture. Make sure you give the money to Watanabe Miki darling. :3_

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"Watch your language, hoe. Besides, just look at this beautiful handwriting. Kaname has such delicate and intricate designs in it, that it took me a long time to write it out." Miki smiled widely with satisfaction, lacing her hands across her stomach as she leaned back in the rolling chair she stole from the staff's room. "Admit it Yakama, I'm the best prankster in this school and you love me like my obsession with pornography."

"You're delusional."

"That I am my dear." Miki then folded up everything and shoved it in a pink envelope. Putting on her white converse shoes, she slipped the letter in her pocket and straightened up.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going out to slip this under Kudo Mai's door. She's stupider than me, extremely rich, and she matches these descriptions perfectly. Obviously, you don't really think I would pick someone intelligent, do you?"

"But—but you can't really think that it will work! Do you?"

"Tell you what, if it doesn't work, I'll do anything for you the entire week. I'll even walk around naked. _Just for you_."

A cold shiver of disgust ran down Yakama's back and she stuck her tongue out. "Just the first part will suffice. What's in it for you, if _you_ _win_?"

"Easy. You sneak out with me at night for two whole weeks to make me my midnight snack."

"YOU FATASS."

"Is it a deal or not?"

"Fine. But at least change your clothes! You look like…like…"

"A slut?" She adorned a plain red tube top that showed off her flat toned abs from working out, and loose black harem sweatpants hung on her hips lowly. Her choice of clothings revealed a light olive skin tone from being out in the sun a lot. Miki waved her hands carelessly. "It's fine, I've been told to show some modesty. But eh? Who gives a fuck about it when we're all going to die one day soon? Besides, after I whip up a short snack from the kitchen—I'LL MAKE A _SANDWHICH_ OKAY!—then I'll be on the track field for a jog. I want to wear something that will be easy to move in and give me a comfortable breeze. Don't get so prissy about it. The city is a lot different from the country, if you haven't noticed."

Yakama clicked her tongue in distaste and nodded reluctantly. "Fine," she snapped. It was a touchy subject that the brown-haired girl did not like to discuss. She came from the country, and wanted to enjoy the life of a city-girl she saw on her small T.V. "You know, I still don't get how you found out I came from the country side."

"Easy, I read your diary." She made a troll face. "Bye-bye!" Miki ran out the door with Yakama hot on her trails in her pink, bunny pajamas.

"COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

Dashing down the dark empty hallways, Miki dropped herself down onto the ground using her stomach and slid past a certain door, sliding the letter under the wood. Quickly, she placed her hand flat on the ground with her palms and lifted her entire body off the floor, bending her legs to stand up properly. She brushed the dirt off and heard the pattering from behind. "It's time for me to go make my sandwich! To the kitchen!" Once she reached the end of the hallway, she slid the window up and jumped in the tree, shutting it back down. Yakama glared at her from the other side angrily, causing the back of her hair to stand up. Smiling sheepishly, she waved and hopped off from the branch and landed on the ground. She checked her watch. "Let's see. Right now, the prefects should be by the main gates. That should leave me enough time to sneak into the main building and make me my sandwich. I knew I shouldn't have skipped out on dinner today! I'm so damn hungry."

This is why we come to the conclusion of Watanabe Miki in a small home economics class, snacking on ten stacked sandwiches—one sandwich would have two breads with two pieces of turkey inside, lettuce, tomato, cheese, mayonnaise, and some chips crushed in there. Ten of these are not exactly the healthiest thing to be feeding an athlete for an upcoming competition. Or even a person, in fact. This was just plain fattening. And quite plainly, it was just too creepy with her bent over a counter in the dark, caressing her food gently whispering, "My lovely darlings, I've been dying to just eat you up. I want to suck on you, bite you, chew you, so much that it pains me to just sit here and look at you—"

"_What_ are you doing?"

Miki shrieked and threw up her plates, food flying in the air.

Aidou held out a hand and caught the plate, maneuvering his arm around with ease to catch the food. He placed it back on the counter and raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing in the building at night, Watanabe Miki."

Hand over a chest, she breathed a sigh of relief and gave the stack of sandwiches another one of her gentle touches. "That's right baby, momma's got you." Aidou recoiled in disgust at her 'loving' display. Coughing awkwardly, Miki smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck when she realized she still had company. "Right. Yeah. About that, I skipped dinner and I got hungry."

"You're telling me, you consume _that much _food within a day?" he said, with an incredulous fascination.

"To be fair, I did eat breakfast and snacks in between. "

"You mean this is just _dinner_ only?"

"Yep!"

_Fat human! _Aidou then blinked, blue eyes widening as seconds ticked by with a tiny blush appearing in his cheeks, "And what are you wearing? That—That's inappropriate to wear in public!"

"OMG. I KNOW, I'M SUCH A SLUT." The fingers that were sinking into the bread then rose into a languid wave out of sheer mock. "Save it, pretty boy. I've heard about my fashion choices from my classmates too many times. Sides', it's not like I sell myself or anything, or I dress to impress other people. I just like wearing this because it's comfortable. I mean seriously, I can _feel_ the breeze." She spread her arms out and waved them wildly as if she had a pair of wings. "CAUSE I'M C.L. THE ONE AND ONLY BADDEST FEMALE."

He sighed deeply and shook his head, "No, I'm pretty sure you're Watanabe Miki. You made that pretty clear the first time we met." He took a seat opposite to her and played with cracked blue marble in his pocket idly, watching her eat intensively with his eyes. It was a good thing he didn't feel like learning today, otherwise, some other vampire might stumble upon this girl and decide to suck her blood. His nose twitched and his face scrunched up. Her blood smelled mostly of…._sweat. _It didn't have that sweet, sickeningly aroma to it like Yuuki did. It didn't make him crave for her blood; it was repulsive, yet it fitted her perfectly. The blood of the owner described everything about the person—what they were thinking, their history, their personalities, _everything_.Thank goodness her blood didn't smell delicious, or he would have trouble to just even sit there without wanting to drain her entire body. "Hey, do you remember me?"

Miki swallowed her fifth sandwich and squinted her eyes to get a better look at him. She gasped and slammed her fist on the counter, shaking it. "OH! I remember you now! You're the guy that got a look at my awesome panda panties! MAN, am I glad about not be wearing my G-string that day. That would be so embarrassing!" He gave her a steely glare. "Psh. And then you got angry at me for just mentioning the truth about you being a virgin. Why so mad? You should be PROUD of that. Virgins in high school? That's like a treasure in this huge place. There's only fifty girls in my dorm that are virgins. No surprise though because they're seriously prude."

"For your information, I am _not_ a virgin," Aidou retorted, crossing his arms. Okay, so he's had sex about once in his long lifetime. It still counted. Poor vampire though. Her legs didn't stand a chance to his pent up frustrations. "And what about you? I bet you're still a virgin!"

"I am." She swallowed her eighth sandwich, and then took a small sip from the cup of water besides her.

"….Really?"

She nodded with a blank face, "Yeah, I'm too fat for anyone to take away my virginity." She pinched the non-existent flab on her stomach. "And my face is average looking. The guys keep on saying I always have a smug or idiotic look on me."

"…."

"I'm joking!" Miki laughed raucously and slapped her thighs in exaggeration. "Well, not the part about being a virgin; _that_, I'm completely serious. Oh, and the last part too. Apparently, I always look like a smug, idiotic bitch. But Yakama told me that my body and _sexy_ (dreadful) personality makes up for the look on my face and horrible academic skills! So it's all good in my world!"

"You're crazy."

"And awesome. Don't forget that part." Miki picked up the plastic plate and cup, washing it and then putting it back in the cabinets. "Yeah, so umm…this is crazy…and I just met you…but I'm going to leave, and you will not follow me because I might get caught by the prefects? Mmmkay? Kay'." She dashed out of the building leaving Aidou sitting there, wondering just what the hell had happened.

Shaking his head slowly, he dragged his feet back to the large classroom and took his seat, playing with the blue marble in his pocket again. Great, now life was boring again, dealing with the same routine. Wake up and get ready for school, mess with his fan girls, go to school and to find the teachers screwing around behind the scenes when they deemed it unnecessary to teach the students, listen to Kaname, drink blood tablets when he's hungry and eat, return to the dorm to shower and sleep, then repeat. It was so boring and made him feel depressed about having to deal with this until he graduated.

"Hanabusa. Where did you go?"

Blue eyes darted over and landed his eyes on his cousin. "I smelled a human in this building and went to check up on it." Hastily, he added, "I didn't do anything! I promise!"

"Them," Kaname corrected idly, not once looking up from the large book in his hands. "Humans are people, not an object."

"My apologies, Kaname-sama," Aidou replied, biting back his rude comment on how he didn't see Miki anything, but a human. "I met that human girl again. Watanabe Miki, the girl that destroyed the window."

"Why was she here?" Ichijou asked eagerly. "Did she tell you when she was going to give me her manga collection? I haven't seen her at the gates for _days_."

"No, and she was only here to make her dinner," Aidou snorted, leaning back in seat to make himself comfortable. "You had to be there. She made ten sandwiches and sucked them in like a vacuum after she talked to it like the thing was her lifeline."

"Humans need food to live," Shiki stated with a dry yawn. "Technically, it is her lifeline."

"Fine. Her lover, child, whatever you want to call it!" The blonde snapped, irritated.

Ruka rolled her eyes and crossed her arms haughtily, "Stop being so childish. Letting a simple human get you so worked up is pathetic."

"You can't even call her a human. Have you seen her? It's more as if she's a werewolf. She's rough, adept in any physical activity, her stomach is like a bottomless pit, and idiotic! She wears her heart on her sleeves just like those foul creatures." He scowled, slamming his fist on the table. "And you're not one to talk about letting a simple human getting me so worked up when the same could be said for you." Ruka directed a glare at him.

Rima chewed on a pocky stick in her mouth, eyes trailing to the ceiling. "You don't think she's a werewolf do you?"

"I am positive that she's one hundred-percent human," Kaname stated serenely, flipping his page calmly. "Werewolves have a distinct scent to them. We would notice a werewolf at this place immediately because of that. Their smell alone are a dead giveaway, especially on a full moon." The vampires didn't look too convinced, even if it did come from him. Kaname sighed and placed his book down. "I have already done a background check on her. The mother is a housewife, and the father owns a butcher shop. She comes from a normal family. Now please, drop the topic of this human. She is not worth arguing over."

"Yes, Kaname-sama, " the Night Class chanted simultaneously.

Purebloods were given too much privilege.

* * *

**_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_**"

A smirk tugged at the ends of Yakama's lips. "That's what you get for reading my diary." An amused smile graced her face, but it disappeared as Miki stumbled into the room wearing the girl's uniform in hot pink instead of black. Yakama pulled at her knee length socks up and then put on her loafers. She put on the blazer, grinning. "You look really good in pink, Miki."

Miki scowled and threw the pink blazer on the ground, "You're a monster!" She stomped on it with her converse repeatedly. She then threw herself against Yakama and buried her face in the crook of the brunette's neck. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME BABY? I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION! I THOUGHT WE LOVED EACH OTHER!"

Yakama shrieked and tried shoving Miki off. "STOP IT! YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SALIVA ALL OVER ME!"

"THEN GIVE ME YOUR UNIFORM!"

"NO!"

"**GIVE IT YOU BITCH!**"

"**NO!**"

"Ahem." In the middle of stripping Yakama, they froze and craned their necks to the doorway to see a chubby girl with acne on her face and cherry colored lips. She smiled widely and waved. "I'm Kudo Mai. The letter I was given from Kaname-sama told me to find you to give the money for the broken window." Yakama paled. "Here you go Watanabe-san! I'll just uhh…leave it on your bed for you to pick up when you're done with…your business. Goodbye!" Kudo skipped out of the room, shutting the door promptly.

Miki shoved Yakama away and picked up the envelope, peeking inside to see a wad of cash. She swayed on spot and the jumped up, throwing her fist in the air. "HELL YEAH BABY! PLAN WORKED. And I believe _you_ lost the bet."

"…I hate you," Yakama spat angrily.

"But we all know you secretly love me even if I can get annoying. I read it in your diary when you dedicated one whole journal to your "new roommate." By the way babe, you can drop the act of being in love with the Night Class boys to fit in. I'm the only that knows you're secretly a lesbian for that Rima chick." She slipped on her pink blazer and pushed the sleeves up to her elbow. She blew a kiss at the shocked girl. "See ya in class!"

"COME BACK HERE YOU CUNT!"

….

Yuuki gaped at Miki when she took a seat next to her with a busted lip. She reached over and touched her face. "What happened to you? Did you trip and fall? Did someone punch you? Was it both?" She bombarded the tall girl with many questions, worried. "Most importantly, why is your uniform _pink_?"

The only words Miki offered were, "Never read another person's diary. Ever."

* * *

"Ichimou-san!" Miki waved a hand wildly to try catching his attention. It was good that she was the only one wearing a pink uniform. (The teachers hadn't bothered sending her to the office over something so trivial. At least she didn't decide to dress up like a zombie again and stay in class, screaming brains and bloody murder every five minutes.) She pushed the fan girls aside with a little effort and squeezed past them. She stood in front of Ichijou, holding a large bag out. "I only have volumes one to twenty-three. You have to buy the rest yourself!"

Ichijou beamed at her and took the bag. "Thank you! I thought you were going to back out on our promise!" And that would have been very tragic, because it meant he would have to stalk her down and take it by force. He smiled angelically and patted her shoulder in a friendly manner. He decided, that she was going to be his favorite human from now on. "It's pleasure doing business with you."

"Of course Ichihoe-san. Everyone always gets pleasure doing business with me. No sexual innuendo meant in that by the way."

His fan girls cried out in protest, "IT'S ICHIJOU!"

Her fist met the palm of her other hand. "Hold up!" She ran towards Kaname and held out an envelope. "This is the money for the broken window!"

Kaname took the envelope and peered inside of it. He gave it back to her. "These are pictures of a naked lady posing with blocks of cheese and sandwiches."

"Oh shit! My bad, I think this is the one!" She gave him another envelope and took the other one back with a surprised expression, checking that one and sighing in relief.

He took another look in it and smirked, handing it back to her. She looked confused. "These are pictures of Zero eating and showering."

Zero eyes widened in alarm and he ran over, snatching it from her hands. He glanced inside and growled, ripping it. "Where did you get this?" he demanded dangerously, narrowing his lavender eyes.

Miki held her hands up, "Hold up pretty boy! I was only selling them your fan girls!"

_"YOU WHAT?"_

She dug through her pockets and took a pink envelope out, making sure it was the money before handing it to Kaname hastily. She couldn't die today by the hands of Zero. She needed to make more money and eat a lot of food! "Yes, this is it. Thank you very much. I hope you have learned your lesson." Kaname gave her an angelic smile and pocketed the money.

"Y-yeah, sure—STOP IT DUDE! I PROMISE I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Miki cried, trying to escape from Zero's clutch. "YUUKI HELP ME!"

Yuuki smiled sheepishly, "S-Sorry."

"TRAITOR!"

There was a silence that passed them with the pattering of Zero and Miki's run.

Ichijou finally chirped, "I like her! She's interesting!"

Aidou face palmed.

* * *

**Me: Review? :D**

**Aidou: _Ladies_. *wink***


	3. Keep it a Secret

**Me: Hey guys...I updated...with more crack...Huzzah. AIDOU.**

**Aidou: *Blah blah blah blah* Vampire Knight *blah blah* owned by Matsuri Hino.**

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

**Keep It a Secret**

"Baby, are you mad at me for reading your diary and finding out you're actually a lesbian for Ruka? You've been quiet for two hours. If you want, I'll give you my virginity...NAH! That's for my special someone! I love you babe, but you're not _that_ special! Plus I'm straight! But I do want to try out that lesbian phase. It's just not for me though huh? Right babe?...Babe? Why do you look like you want to kill me?" Miki grinned nervously as Yakama approached her with an evil glint in her eyes.

"I'm going to murder you if you _ever_ tell anyone. And I will _never_ have sex with you unless you're Ruka-sama. So stop making sexual jokes towards me."

"...I have a lot of pictures of Ruka. I'll give five new pictures for _free_ if you calm your titties down and talk to me?"

"Deal."

Miki went to her drawers and pulled out one filled with all of her undergarments. Pushing them aside, she took out a small suitcase and put in a code. It popped open, and she flipped through all of the organized documents it held. Giving an, "Ah ha!" She pulled a specific file on view and plucked out five new pictures of Ruka, handing them to Yakama carefully. She didn't want to smudge the picture with her fingers in case it left grease marks. The shorter girl drooled, looking through them.

"These are such a nice angle…Where did you get them?"

"I installed cameras around the school! On Saturday, I usually gather all of them up and then take screenshots of it on my computer when I think I can sell it for money. Plus, it helps me collect a lot of data on the students to blackmail them when I need something. Genius huh?"

Yakama gave her a flat stare, "Why the hell are you only a genius when it involves money?"

"Boobies."

"Ugh."

The blonde laughed raucously and then jumped on the bed. "I actually got the idea from reading a lot of fanfiction and watching anime lately. It's awesome huh? Yeah, don't worry. I know it is. That's the reason why I have been making a lot more money lately. But seriously, remember the time when you told me Idol's eyes turned red?"

Yakama corrected her, "Aidou. And yes, I do. You told me you believed in nyan cat."

"LOL. I mean, laugh out loud…BUT I FINALLY KNOW THE REASON WHY."

"Tell me."

"Give me a pair of your panties."

"I'll mutate your face."

"I'll scream rape."

"I will rape you."

"Good enough."

"TELL ME YOU STUPID BITCH! _I MUST KNOW!_" Miki grinned widely and then pulled her laptop out. Turning it on, she entered her long password and went to the home page. She clicked on the videos section, and searched for a file titled the Night Class Secrets. Pulling it up, she gave it towards Yakama to watch. The entire time Yakama watched, her face turning red. "This is _porn_!"

"Oh…My bad. Not that video!" She exited it out and then clicked on another one. "_This_ one!"

_Five._

Yakama gasped.

_Four._

She gripped her pillow so hard it was going to tear in half.

_Three._

Her eyes grew wide.

_Two._

Her jaw dropped.

_One._

"THE NIGHT CLASS ARE—"

Miki slapped a hand over her mouth. "That's right! The Night Class are all copies of Edward-kun..sssss!"

"Edward-kun, really? That's the best vampire joke you can come up with? Out of thousands of joke the internet offers online, you have to make a damn reference to Twilight?" Yakama gave her a dry look and rolled her eyes.

"Fine. All of the vampires are sparkly bastards."

"That's not any better. It's still related to Twilight."

"_OH_, SHUT UP!" Miki pouted and took her laptop, shutting it off. "What I'm trying to say is, everything makes sense now. They're all distant, depressing, and dark! They sleep in the morning, but they wake up in the afternoon to go to class until the sun rises! AND THEY ALL LOOK HOT. Like, REALLY HOT. Like, SUPER DUPER I-WANT-TO-POUR-CHOCOLATE-ON-YOUR-FACE-AND-LICK-IT HOT. Doesn't it make sense now? Plus, Iroll—"

"Aidou."

"—asked some of the girls what their blood type is. And I remembered him regarding me as a different species. This means that they're all vampires! The Kuman—"

"Kuran."

"—guy is the leader of the group because he's a pureblood! It's all in the video! Yuuki and Zero knows what they are too, and they do more than just patrol for Day Class girls sneaking out of school! They're on the lookout for vampires trying to sneak out of class to suck blood because they can't stand the shitty tablets."

"That does make sense."

"Yeah! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"

"What?"

"I COULD BE A MILLIONAIRE IF I TOLD THE NIGHT CLASS' SECRETS TO PEOPLE WHO PAID ME!"

"Don't do it."

Miki frowned. "But why?"

"Because…because…." Yakama twirled her fingers and then sighed deeply. "What if the reason the vampires are here is to try to co-exist with us _humans_ in peace? There must be a reason why it's a secret. And if we just spilled it for money, which is pretty shallow, then that means the half of the school population will leave. I love this school, and I love the way it is. I'm begging you, please don't tell anyone else. Just keep it shushed."

"So…I can't tell anyone?"

"No."

"Okay!"

"That's it?"

"What's it?"

"You're seriously not going to tell anybody for money?"

"Yeah. You told me not to. If you didn't want me to tell anyone for money, then I won't."

"You're not joking?"

"Nope!"

"Did you even listen to my speech at all?"

"Only the last part."

"I hate you."

"I love you too babe."

* * *

Miki held an imaginary gun to her side and did a commando roll on the ground. She jumped on the countertop and look to her left, and then to her right. "Agent Small Ting-Ting, are you there? Over," she said to walkie-talkie quietly.

_"I'm here Agent…Chink. Why you picked that name for yourself, I will never know. Over,"_ Yakama reported.

"Because I'm awesome. Over."

_"You're gay. Over."_

"No, that would be you. Literally. Over."

_"I promise you, I'm going to murder you one day Agent Chink. Over."_

"You should just rape me instead of giving me the same empty threats Agent Small Ting-Ting. Over."

_"Okay, you know what, this shit is getting annoying. Just tell me, is the coast clear yet?"_

"…You didn't say over. Over."

_"FUCKING OVER."_

"Coast is clear. You may come in now. Over." The door slammed open and Yakama marched into the home economics classroom, irritated. Miki pretended to shoot her, "Pew pew pew! Pew!"

"Stop that!"

"Pew! Oh no, the giant monster is coming closer! Shoot faster!" Miki shrieked in a high pitched tone. She then changed her voice into a low pitch to imitate a man, "Yes ma'am. Agent Chink here to save the day. Pew pew pew! Pew! Pew pew! PEW!" Then she switched back to the useless woman. "Oh Agent Chink, you're my _savior_!" Then the man's voice. "Baby I know. Now let's have raw se—OW. Geeze Ai, you didn't have to throw my facking walkie-talkie at my face. You could have just told me you liked S&M."

"...Sometimes, I _really_ want to hit you."

"I'm glad we feel the same way."

Yakama jumped off the ground, screaming. She whipped her head over to glare at the blonde vampire standing next to her, smirking. "You! Since when were you there!"

Aidou rolled his eyes and pointed a finger at Miki—whom was pretending to shoot Aidou in the crotch while screaming at him, calling him Godzilla. "Ever since she _tip-toed_ in here and crash into random objects, did a _commando roll_,_ jumped_ on the counter, and called you _Agent Small Ting-Ting_. Does that answer your question?"

"Damn it Agent Chink! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE COAST WAS CLEAR!"

"Well _exxcccuuuseeee _me, princess." Miki hopped off the counter and skipped over to the fridgerator. Digging in it, she took out a few ingredients and set them on the smooth surface. "Now make me mah sexay burritos before I hurt you." She then cocked an eyebrow at Aidou. "Why are you here again? Don't tell me…YOU CAME HERE TO MAKE A SANDWICH? LE GASP. STAY AWAY FROM IT YOU DIRTY PROSTITUTE. I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE MY…Uhh…USE MY BITCH! I _will_ throw her at you!"

"Who's your bitch!"

"You are. _You _lost the bet. _Bitch_."

Aidou growled, "I'm not here to make a sandwich Watanabe! I heard both of you sneak into the school from my classroom! Your voice alone is enough to alert an intruder."

"Or…is it because of your vampire hearings were you able to detect an intruder," Yakama stated slowly. Her eyes widened and she took a step closer to Miki out of precaution. "You and the rest of the Night Class are vampires."

Blue eyes narrowed into slits. "How long did you two know?" he demanded. _Shit shit shit shit. I need to tell Kaname-sama that they know. I need permission from him to modify their memories. _But did he really want them to forget about the huge secret the academy was keeping from the Day Class student? They would lighten up his boring world a lot. He could screw around with the two humans, and if they became dull, he would wipe out their memories himself. (No sexual innuendo intended.) Would that work?

"I found out yesterday from Miki. I don't know when she figured it out."

Miki played with the un-cooked beef, stabbing her finger into it. "I only knew for two weeks. Hey, are you going to cook me my burrito or not? If you don't, you're going back on the bet. That means you'll have to walk around the school naked babe. Don't worry, I'll enjoy the view."

"I'm working on it!"

"Make the salsa too please!" Miki then hopped over to Aidou and slapped the back of his shoulder playfully (aggressively). "Don't worry dude! I'm not going to tell anyone, I promise."

He moved closer to her, his face inches apart from hers. "How do I know if I can trust you humans to keep our secret?" he asked, hissing.

"That's easy." She smiled widely and moved over to his ear and whispered, "You don't." He felt her hot breath hit his ear and a small shiver ran down his back. Miki hopped away and skipped back over to Yakama, pulling out a chair to seat herself. "Care to join us Iphone—"

"Aidou."

"—in a little snack? Not our blood! I mean like, human food. Just you, me, and Agent Small Ting-Ting."

"Shut up Agent Chink."

"Uh huh. So Ihoe—"

"AIDOU."

"—Want to join us?"

Aidou looked back and forth between them and calculated the possibilities of him getting in trouble with Kaname for skipping class again. Probably just a little scolding and not a slap. Slaps only came when he started messing around with Yuuki. He pulled another chair out next to the fake blonde and sat there. "Make a lot or else I'll suck your blood." Yakama paled and nodded furiously. Miki began swinging her legs back and forth happily. He put an elbow on the counter and placed his chin in his palm, watching every movement of theirs—studying them.

"Hey Agent Chink, pass the tomatoes."

"Yes Agent Small Ting-Ting."

"How long will this take?" Aidou asked dully, drumming his fingers against the surface impatiently. He hadn't had any tablets to drink, and he was craving for blood at the moment. Yakama's blood smelled decent, but Miki's (sweaty smelling) blood overpowered the other's; it held his craving back. That was good since he wouldn't get in trouble for giving into his lust for blood.

"I'm almost done. Stop being impatient," Yakama snapped.

"YEAH, JACKASS!"

He gasped, appalled. "I am _not_ a jackass!"

"That's not what my mother told me!"

"I never even met your mother!"

"THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER TOLD ME TOO!"

"Hey."

"YOU DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Aidou screamed.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAD A SPASM IN SCIENCE CLASS OVER FROG LEGS."

"Guys."

"SEE! THERE YOU GO WITH YOUR RANDOM TALK! YOU'RE THE MOST IDIOTIC HUMAN I HAVE EVER MET!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU, JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT MY WIFE—" Miki was interrupted.

"**GUYS!**" They both became inaudible; shocked at the fact that Yakama had to raise her voice over them. The brunette placed her hands on her hips. "Now if you two have finished arguing like _children_, I just wanted to tell the both of you that I finished with the burritos. Aidou-senpai, if you have a problem with regular food, then this is not for you."

Miki roared with laughter. "AHAHAHAHA! SHE'S SAYING YOU'RE A STUCK UP SNOB THAT DOESN'T APPRECIATE MIDDLE CLASS FOOD!"

He glared at her, "I can too!"

"Suuurreee." She took a burrito and bit into it, giving Yakama a thumb's up. "It's good."

"It better be. Since I prepared your food, I'll be taking my leave now. I need to finish my homework. Unlike _someone_." Miki smiled sheepishly and continued to wolf down her food. "Right. See ya later. And umm…bye Aidou-senpai."

He gave a nonchalant wave, not bothering to spare her another glance when she left the room awkwardly. He observed the plate in front of him and handpicked it up with his fingers cautiously. "Is this even healthy?"

"Nope!"

Aidou stuck his tongue out at her response. "Then why are you eating it?"

She shrugged, "What goes in your stomach, eventually comes out in the end. Plus I exercise. I have to be in good shape no matter what for my sports tournaments!" He snorted in disbelief. "Shat up! At least I actually do something! What do you do? _Read_ for _fun_? LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I mean, laugh out loud."

"In fact, I do read for fun," Aidou retorted, smirking. "At least it makes me _good-looking_ and _smart_. The only appealing thing about you is your athletic abilities. You can't even speak Japanese correctly!"

"Hey, you forgot about my sexy body! Don't forget that part."

Aidou gaped, "You're not going to deny it?"

"I don't see why I should when it's true. If I can admit that my body is hot, and I'm really AWESOMELY strong, why can't _you_ admit that you're just a hot, cheeky bastard? Everyone would be happier that way."

"Aha! So you admit I'm hot!"

"Yeah, but I also admitted that you're a cheeky bastard."

"…." Well it _was_ true.

"Are you going to eat your burritos or not?" He peered at her plate and found it was empty. The porcelain was sparkling too. He frowned. She definitely reminded him of a werewolf. He sniffed. And her blood smelled repulsive just like them. "Seriously, are you going to eat your damn burrito? I'm as hungry as an African child!"

"That's incredibly racist."

"It's only racist because I'm Asian huh? At least I can make fun of my own race too! So technically, it's _not_ racist!"

"Excuses, excuses."

"BITCH, JUST GIVE ME YOUR DAMN BURRITOS! I'M STARVING!"

Aidou pulled out a random excuse that he thought would work, "HEY LOOK! MY LITTLE PONY!"

"WHERE?" She jumped out of her seat and moved towards the window. Taking the chance, he opened his mouth wide and picked up the entire plate, dumping the food into his mouth. When she turned back to yell at him, he had already swallowed all of it. Her jaw dropped. "You….

Aidou grinned, wiping his mouth with a napkin neatly. "It's decent."

Miki narrowed her eyes. "Spit it out."

"Huh?"

She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him back and forth vigorously, "SPIT IT OUT YOU CHEEKY BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!"

"I ALREADY SWALLOWED IT!"

"**I'M HUNGRY**!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT _ME_ TO DO ABOUT IT?"

"SPIT OUT THE DAMN BURRITO—!"

"Aidou." They were silenced once again. Shiki walked towards them with a blank expression and pinched the collar of Aidou's uniform, pulling him out of her strong grip. "Kaname-sama said for you to return to class immediately. As for the girl, I will have to escort her back to her dorm if I don't bump into the perfects," he said blandly, expression still blank.

"Awww damn it! I got caught? That sucks!"

"You two were very loud," Shiki said.

"How loud?" Aidou asked, curious.

"We heard the entire conversation starting from Agent Small Ting-Ting."

Miki gasped, "YOU TOO?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, some of the conversations were whispered so we didn't hear everything. However, we got the gist of how it went." Shiki's light blue eyes darted back to the guilty expression on Aidou's face. "You should go now before Kaname-sama gets mad. I'll take her back and report to the chairman if she becomes a problem." He gestured for Miki to leave the classroom. "If you will."

She pouted, "Fine you emo." Crossing her arms, she stomped out the classroom.

Shiki rotated to Aidou, "How much does she know?"

He shrugged, "I think the only thing she knows so far is the fact that we're vampires."

"If that's so, it should be easy to remove her memories."

"Ah…" Aidou frowned in distaste.

"I'll be taking my leave now. I'll see you when I get back."

* * *

"I'm bored!" Miki exclaimed, flailing her arms in the air.

"Watanabe, we're walking. Walking is not supposed to be fun and happy," Shiki replied boredly.

"BRO. YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME?"

"You broke one of our windows and insulted Aidou vigorously on accident the first I met you. Naturally, I would remember your name."

"Oh. What's your name?"

"Shiki Senri."

"Shiki…Senri…" Miki smiled serenely and tucked a hair behind her ears. "That's a really nice name." He stopped for a second at her calm girlie actions, furrowing his eyebrows. He was confused by her compliment. He had known the girl from watching her interact with other people besides himself. She was loud, rude, obnoxious, insulting, greedy, gluttonous, and perverted. He never included nice in the list. "Hey Shiki, are you okay?"

"Fine." Shiki slipped his hands in his pocket and continued his smooth pace.

"Hey dude, your cheeks are a little red. You sure you're not catching a fever?"

"Yes."

"Do you always talk so little?"

"Do you always talk so much?" he retaliated.

"Touché." Miki began whistling a tune as she skipped.

Shiki raised his eyebrows, "What song is that?"

"Trouble Maker by…Trouble Maker. It's a Korean song! It's awesome huh?"

"…."

"Thanks~." Miki suddenly went from whistling to barking like a dog. Then to a dolphin. And then she made hissing sounds while throwing her hands out in a claw like manner, acting similar to an angry cat.

"Is it impossible for you to act human for ten minutes?"

"It's not, but I'm extremely bored! Dude, try to guess what I am!" She crouched down and beat her chest with a fist roughly.

"Gorilla."

"OH, HOW DID YOU KNOW?" She exclaimed, jumping up on her feet.

"Hn." Reaching the Day Class entrance, Shiki moved closer to her and held a hand to her forehead.

Miki frowned. "Are we going to have a cliché, romantic moment?"

He quirked a smile, "No. Just close your eyes."

"What do I get?"

"A surprise."

"Okay!" She closed her eyes without hesitation. When Shiki had activated his powers to wipe out her memories, Miki fell towards him, limp. He caught her with an arm around her wrist, keeping her up and leaving his other hand to continue wiping out the memories. He grimaced. She knew more than them being just vampires.

"Humans need to mind their own business," he murmured softly. Removing his hand, he dropped her on the ground harshly and sat next to her, waiting for her to wake up. Twenty minutes passed and he grunted, holding a hand up to his growling stomach. Reaching in his jacket, he pulled out a box of pocky and tore it open. The sweet flavor soothed his hunger down by a little.

A hand flew out and grasped his food, snatching it from him. "Thanks for the food dude!" Miki grinned and began snacking on it. It was apparent that she woke up only from the smell of food. Shiki bored his eyes into her form and secretly asked himself if it was worth mutating a human or not into something unrecognizable. She ate two sticks from the box and threw the rest back. She smacked her lips together, "I got a question."

"Ask."

"Who are you?"

He blinked owlishly.

"No name? Oh that's cool I guess. So how did I get out here? The last thing I remembered is making fun of my friend's sexuality."

"…."

"I'll just…go." Under her breath, she muttered, "Emo kid."

Climbing up the entrance, Miki was going to jump off but paused as the red-headed vampire called out, "Hey." She turned around and found the box of pocky aimed at her face. Pure reflexes from sports made her catch it without falling off.

"Thanks dude!"

"Shiki Senri."

"…I understand."

"My name. Shiki Senri."

"Oh!" Miki laughed and another serene smile showed up on her face. "That's a nice name you have there, Shiki."

"Hn."

"Bye bye!"

He nodded and pivoted on his foot to leave, waving lightly. A small smile appeared on his way back to the school building.

"WAIT SHIKI."

Shiki tilted his head.

"CAN I HAVE YOUR UNDERWEAR TO SELL IT?"

And he never looked back.

* * *

**Me: Yeah, I just wanted it to be more of a dialogue for this chapter. And the reason why I revealed the secrets so early is because I want to get the plot moving faster. I don't plan to drag this story out to fifty-facking chapters. Reviews are, as usual, appreciated. :D Unless you guys are mad at me for writing too much crack and making horrible jokes. Just to clarify things before anyone gets mad:**

**I'm Asian. Therefore, I would be making fun of myself too by putting all of those horrendous jokes up. **

**But if any Asian is still offended, you guys need to calm down and get a sense of humor. **


	4. Behind the Mask

**Me: The best time to wear a striped sweater—**

**Zero: Is all of the time.**

**Me: I love you Zero. Well, I mainly love your voice. It's so sexy. Your seiyuu's laugh is like crack, and your singing is like hearing someone orgasm every few seconds. Just _amazing._**

**Zero: Not interested.**

**Aidou: Ugh. Humans.**

**Me: Mamoru Miyano is hot. HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD HIM SING? OR LAUGH? OR TALK ABOUT_ SYMMETRY_?**

**Aidou: Don't plan to. _Ladies_, thanks for the reviews. =D I'll show up in your _dreams_ tonight.**

**Me: Shiki! You know what to do while Aidou lures the ladies!**

**Shiki: -_- Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino. **

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

**Behind The Mask**

"Dude, why are you rolling across the floor?"

"Well my dear love, no pun intended because your name basically means love, I am trying to think. I tend to roll across the floor when I begin beating up my brain to start cooperating with me. Why? Because I am fucking awesome. Like a boss."

"Uhh…What?"

"I'm a poo-poo head."

"Okay!"

Miki continued manipulating her body muscles to roll, her face smacking against the ground whenever she didn't cover it. Her mind had been so blank the past week and she couldn't put a finger to it. It felt like she was missing something, ever since her encounter with Shiki. Aidou had been looking at her strangely after that day too. Normally, she would have told him to fuck off or ask him politely to get his head out of the gutter and stop staring at her junk if she sneaked out at night to eat with Yakama. But she hadn't done that once after the day she met Shiki. Sighing deeply, she laid on her back and stared upwards into the ceiling. From the camera she set around the school, the prefects had been specifically guarding the Sun Dorm than usual giving her no time to run to the school's building. Exasperated, Miki climbed up on her bed and started her computer. "Hey Ai," she began, dawdling.

"What?"

"I got a question."

"Then ask away dumbass."

Miki grinned and tilted her head, "How come you have a crush on Rima, but you accepted pictures of Ruka from me? I thought you hated her."

"...She's pretty."

"Oh. So who do you like best?"

"Rima-sama obviously! She's just so…" Yakama's body shook slightly, and she emitted a squeal. She pulled out a large pink photo album, flipping through the pages dedicated to Rima. "Isn't Rima-sama adorable? Her petite body! Her flawless skin! Her natural hair color! The perfect Lolita girl!" Yakama rubbed her face against a close-up shot of Rima's blank expression, drool leaving her mouth. "I wish Rima-sama knew I existed! I would be her servant; make her food, pour her drinks, wash her clothes, and maybe give her back rubs! AHHHH RIMA-SAMA!"

"What about Ruka?"

"Ruka-sama's great too! She's so mature and lovely. Her looks are delicate, and she's a very independent woman—!"

"Ew." Miki shivered in disgust. Whereas Yakama was going into detail over why Ruka was so good-looking, the younger girl set off to surfing through the documents in her computer again.

_Porn._

_Porn._

_Porn._

_Kiryuu Zero laughing hysterically/him singing his heart out. _She paused. _Oh wait, never mind. I computerized his voice to do that to sell to his crazy fan girls. _Shrugging her shoulders, Miki continued.

_Porn._

_Yuuki and Sayori in their cute pajamas._

_My tournaments._

_Porn._

_The Night Class Secrets._

_Po—_She back tracked to the last document. _What the fuck is this piece of shit doing in here? I don't remember anything about recording them. _Clicking on the video, her gray eyes reflected the entire scene of Aidou biting Yuuki, skipping to the discussion of Kaname being a pureblood, some random Night class students drinking "tablets" and complaining about it, and etc. etc. Abruptly, a palm instantly flew to her forehead and made contact. She grinded her teeth together at the sear of pain tearing through her; all missing memories came flooding back.

"Miki? Miki are you okay?" Yakama jumped out from her side of the bed and next to her, voice laced with concern.

Miki remained silent.

"Oi! OI! MIKI—"

"I'M GOING TO STRANGLE THAT FUCKING BASTARD SO HARD THAT HE TURNS INTO DUST! AND WHEN HE TURNS INTO DUST, I'M GONNA GATHER HIM UP, SHOVE HIM IN A VASE, AND THEN THROW IT UP AND HIT IT WITH A BAT SO HIS REMAINS CAN GO EVERYWHERE, AND HIS FAN GIRLS CAN DANCE AND CRY IN IT! THAT FILTHY ASSHOLE!" Miki roared, thrashing on the bed wildly in anger.

"…What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT BASTARD SHIKI!"

"Okay, first of all, CALM DOWN BITCH. Second of all, what did he do to you?"

The blonde sucked in a breath, and then exhaled. "Remember when I waltzed back into our room the night you made me and Aidou some burritos?"

"Yeah. You came back giggling like a fan girl, and I was questioning if Aidou-senpai screwed your brains out."

"The idea of losing my virginity to him is just revolting," Miki retorted, sticking her tongue out to express her feelings of disgust. Yakama rolled her eyes at the childish actions. "Back to the main topic! That day, my mind became a little bit hazy. Everytime I try to remember something, I couldn't."

"That happens to you all of the time when you take a test or work on an assignment."

"Honey please! It's only on school subjects! I promise you I'm really cool at remembering shit when it comes to good things."

"Suuuureee."

Miki's shoulders sagged dejectedly, "Right._ Anyway_, it turns out—"

"You had sex? You lost your virginity? You have a thing for _ARMPITS_! That's freaking gross."

"FACK! SCREW IT! I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU ANYMORE. YOU RUINED A TOTALLY BREATHTAKING SCENE WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS MY ANGSTY ANGER! THEN I WOULD CRY ABOUT IT, AND YOU WOULD HOLD ME AND GIVE ME WORDS OF COMFORT!"

Yakama plucked out the two words standing out the most to her, "Angsty anger?"

She shrugged, "It's was the only good thing I could come up with."

"Figures."

* * *

"Fack. Fack. Fack. Fack. FACK. FACK. FACK. FACK!" Miki shrieked, scrambling off the green grass field.

Sayori and Yuuki lifted their heads. "What's wrong?"

"MY FAN GIRLS! THEY HAVE COME TO **EAT ME**!"

"You have fan girls?" Yuuki asked, genuinely curious.

"Certainly Yuuki. She's the face of this school for sports competitions. A lot of the older students appreciate her for bumping up the school's place to at least one of the top three since freshman year," Sayori said blandly, picking at her onigiri idly. "Naturally, with her charming personality she would gain a fan club too."

"Charming?" The prefect repeated, unintentionally rude.

"Y-Yuuki!" Miki sniffed, her eyes tearing up slightly. "I'd say words going along the lines of me not wanting to live anymore because we have been friends for a long time and you should have already known this, but **FACK**!" Tossing her bag to Sayori, Miki zipped through the courtyard and began running away from her enthusiastic fan club before they could catch her agile body in their nets. Eyes darting around frantically, she shoved a tall male aside and took a dive in the bush as soon as four girls popped out from the corner.

"Where did she go?"

"Damn it! I was supposed to give her my shoes so she could throw up in it!"

"Okay, we seriously need to schedule when we're going to kidnap her. It'd be much more efficient than what we're doing now."

"Probably. Ahh...What if I never get her autographed gum before I graduate?"

"That would suck."

"Ha! I did better than you! I collected all of the hair that she dropped and made a wig into it!"

"SHARE IT!" The girls began walking away, arguing. Miki was currently green in the face, stilling her breath to remain silent and not start bawling at the top of her lungs.

"They're gone."

She blinked owlishly. Poking her head out from the leafy bush, piercing lavender eyes struck her figure immediately. "HIIIIEEEEE!"

Zero scowled. "Get out the bush Watanabe. People are beginning to stare."

"Aye, aye captain Jack Sparrow!" Miki chirped, saluting him. As soon as she was about to step out, she was tugged backwards and sat there in the slightly thorny bush. Trying to move again, Miki found she couldn't. Her face paled to the exact shade of Zero's skin color. It looked out of place on the tan girl. "Hey umm...I don't want to freak you out, but….I'm stuck."

Zero cocked a brow. "You're stuck?"

"In a bush."

"You're stuck in a bush," Zero repeated incredulously.

"NO WAY."

Zero sighed and thrust his hands into his pocket. "I'll see you in class then Watanabe."

"WAIT ZERO! HELP MEEEEE! I DON'T WANT TO STAY HERE FOREVER! WHAT IF MY FANGIRLS CATCH ME?"

"You can rot along with them."

"Don't be like that Zero! I'll give you pictures of Yuuki in her pajamas!"

A light pink color dusted across his cheeks and he turned his head to the side. "I don't want it."

"You leave me no choice then. If you don't help me out, I'll release a video of you showering to the entire school."

"_You_ _wouldn't_," Zero hissed. If there was anything the ex-human understood about Watanabe Miki like everyone else, it was that she knew how to get around things you couldn't have possibly imagine. Marihuana? You want it, you got it as long as you had the money. She could send you to the drug dealer personally. (Miki only handed the information out to people who had good reasons. Not the half-assed excuses, "I just want to try it." Normally, she denied everyone.) Pictures of your crush? Fork up the cash, and you could have the person in any pose you want. Zero had no doubts that her connections extended across the entire city. In short, she was a manipulative bitch willing to do anything for money besides sell herself.

Zero didn't necessarily get along with people like her; normally he would have just ignored Miki, but she _wouldn't_ let him. Miki was too persistent and annoying; she tested his patience too much on purpose. At one time, her personality had been predictable to him. A single glance and he could decipher everything about her like the next stranger he saw. Unfortunately, her personality had been taking twists and turns when she began associating with the Night Class. Her mind had been getting sharper than she let off to her classmates. He probably wouldn't pick up on her intelligence had she not been interfering with his prefect duties, sneaking out to the school building with Yakama.

She beamed at him arrogantly, "I would."

He glared at her. "I'll help you out if you delete it. No more files of me showering, and no more selling it. Get rid of the entire video."

"Do I honestly have to?"

"Yes."

"_Fine_." Miki extended a hand out to him, hoping he would grasp it.

Zero recoiled. "How do I know you'll actually do it?"

"You don't," she said truthfully, eyes sparking with pure _glee_. "We grow up hearing lies all of the time Zero. I grew up with the mentality that adults are all liars. It's my choice whether or not I want to take after their habit or change. That's why it's my decision for me to tell the truth, or just not say anything at all. I may be a lot of things, but a liar I am not. Trust me."

The silver-haired grimaced. _Trust me? Ha. Trust an idiot to say those words I longed to hear. _Grunting, he coiled his fingers around her wrist and yanked her out of the bush.

"WHOOO! I'M FREE! I'M FREE! No sexual innuendo intended," Miki giggled, jumping up in joy.

"I expect you to keep to your end of the bargain."

"I will~." _Doesn't mean I have to delete the other files I collected of you Zero. You only said video of you showering. _"OH SHIT. COME ON BRUH! WE BEZ LATE TO CLASSES FIFTY!"

"It's Zero."

"Uh huh. So sixty-nine—"

"It's Zero," he repeated irritably.

"—What do you say to those pajama pictures of Yuuki? I can hook you up with it for free. You look like a pretty lonely guy."

Kiryuu Zero learned a lesson that Friday: Leave Watanabe Miki alone. Literally.

* * *

"Wow, it's so crowded today!" Miki hummed idly.

"Stop moving! I can't see them if I'm concentrating on something else dickhead!" Yakama snapped. The lesbian was perched on top of Miki's shoulders, holding onto her head to not fall off as Miki was swinging her body from side to side.

"HEY! At least I decided to help you!"

"Oh shut up! OW! FUCK! STOP HITTING YOUR HEAD AGAINST MY CROTCH!"

"THEN STOP ANNOYING ME YOU DUMB FUCK!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE ACTING LIKE A CUNT!"

"WEELLLL EXCCUUUUSEEEE ME, PRINCESS."

The two broke out into argument, bringing all of the attention to them. Aidou peered through the group of short girls crowding them and was not surprised to see the pair of idiots. "Should we be doing something?" he asked.

"They're providing a distraction. Let's go while we can escape," Kaname stated, walking away. _After_ he said hello to a flustered Yuuki.

"Hanabusa, come on," Kain muttered, gripping onto his elbow.

"Just give me a minute."

When Miki had grabbed Yakama by the legs and threw her to the crowd, she screamed, "CATCH!" Yakama screeched at the top of her lungs and then crashed into them, knocking everyone down. "That took care of the problem…ssss!"

"Watanabe."

Her eyes landed on Aidou's tall frame. A smile tugged at her lips. "Yeeeesssssss?"

"You haven't..." He grunted. What was he supposed to say? "You haven't been showing up for the whole week."

"What about it?" Miki asked earnestly, curious. Aidou then appeared embarrassed. Smiling, she patted his shoulders. "Miss your entertainment huh? Don't worry, I missed you too."

Aidou scowled, "Who said I miss your arrogant face?"

"I do~."

"Narcissist."

"I know." She blew him an imaginary kiss that he swatted away. "I love you too honey~."

Aidou rolled his eyes. "I do too, _sweetie_."

"You're my favorite _lollipop_!"

"And you're my delicious _cupcake_!"

"You're like the sun to my moon!"

"Too bad the sun and the moon can't be together."

"You know what say about big feet: Have sex with me."

He blushed. "You're sick."

She got down dirty, "Baby, I love to suck you all day and all night."

"It's funny because I don't."

"But _I do_."

"_I don't_."

Miki stomped her feet, "BUT I DO!"

"BUT I DON'T!"

"Are you two done yet?" Zero interrupted.

They looked at his blank expression and Yuuki's scarlet face. Aidou coughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I'll go now before Kaname-sama yells at me." _Or slaps me in the face._

"BYYYYEEEE BABY!"

"You really enjoy teasing him don't you?" Yuuki sighed, smiling softly.

"The more important subject is what to do with all of these knocked out species….HAVE FUN WITH THAT GUYS!" Miki lifted Yakama off the floor and giggled loudly, skipping away hurriedly.

"…Should we run after her?"

"….."

"Zero? Zero?" Yuuki almost cried when she discovered Zero had left her.

* * *

"Forget it. I'm sneaking out tonight. I've been losing too much weight from not eating at night," Miki growled, pissed off. "I don't care if I have to kill Zero or Yuuki. They will both die if they get in the way of my snack time! ARE YOU COMING WITH ME AI?"

"Nah. I don't feel like it."

"YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!"

Miki wrapped Yakama up in a blanket and threw her over her shoulder. "TO THE DAMN KITCHEN!"

"_MMFFPH! MMMFFF!_"

**Twenty Minutes Later**

"I really hate you."

"I want katsudon this time please!" Miki sang, playing with a pair of chopstick.

A seat was pulled up next to her and she smirked. "Make some for me too."

"Hey _baby_~."

"Yes _cupcake_?"

She snaked an arm around his waist playfully. "You want to…_you know_….Eat some chocolate frostings? Because I'm like, _starving_. Seriously."

Aidou didn't look amused. "So your response is to eat chocolate frostings?"

"Basically."

"Idiot." Aidou removed her arm, feeling uncomfortable from the intense gaze she sent him.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR SHARE OF THE KATSUDON!"

"AS IF."

"YEAH!"

Yakama face palmed. The price she paid over losing a simple bet.

"Bro."

"I am not your bro."

"Uh huh. So bro. Do you like, get turned on when you cut yourself?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean!"

"Well…you're a vampire!"

"No shit."

"Meaning if you cut yourself and see your blood, don't you get turned on? Or you start sucking your blood."

"….." Aidou turned red and casted his eyes downward to his lap. "It's none of your business. And wait...you remembered? How? Shiki erased your memories!"

"I watched a video and remembered everything. NOW TELL ME."

"Forget it!"

"COME ON! DON'T BE LIKE THAT ASSHAT!"

"YOU INSOLENT HUMAN—"

"Your food is done, fat asses."

They both dug into their meal immediately.

"You two are fucking fat."

"_Rude_!" Aidou exclaimed, holding a hand to his chest.

"_I know_! See man, this is what I have to deal with twenty-one-six!" It's twenty-four-seven, dumb ass.

"I feel for you."

"Ugh!" Yakama had her hands on her hips. "This is the thanks I get? People have no manners these days!"

"I don't respect humans."

"I don't respect lesbians."

Aidou cocked an eyebrow. "That joke's too harsh, don't you think so?"

"You're right. I don't respect people who won't rape me."

Aidou began choking on his katsudon violently.

"You guys are…Ugh. Whatever. I'm gonna leave before I get caught with a bunch of idiots. See ya around." Putting up the pots and pans she used, Yakama fixed her pajamas and exited the room briskly in a huffy manner.

"Are you…gay?"

Miki laughed, "No! I don't swing that way! It's only a joke to piss her off."

"Oh." Maybe it was just him, but Aidou felt discomfort by the mere fact that he sounded too _relieved_. Aidou stuffed his mouth with spoonful of rice, chewing intently. Why the hell was he so bothered by Miki? She was just a normal human. And he questioned his sanity for getting excited in the afternoon, wondering what she was scheming in her head. He stiffened when she took a strand of his hair, playing with the ends. "What do you think you're doing Watanabe?"

"Just looking," Miki hummed, running her hands through them. "Your hair's really pretty. What's awesome is that it's not fake too!"

"Of course! I'm Aidou Hanabusa. My looks are all natural, " he retorted haughtily, slapping her hand away.

"It's unfair!"

"How is it unfair?"

"You're a vampire! Vampires all have that "I'm fucking beautiful bitch, look at me!" aura around them. I'm human! I couldn't be pretty if I tried."

"That's not true."

"Really? You think I'm pretty?"

Aidou smirked, "Actually, I was going to say that some humans are pretty."

"_You suck_." Miki stood up and strode over to the other side, washing the bowl under the sink neatly. "Hey, if you're done, hand me your stuff. I'll wash it for you…_What? _I'm being serious here! Geeze bruh! You need to calm your wet panties down. We're friends. "

"_Friends_?" Aidou repeated, his eyes widening a fraction.

"I'm going to slap myself across the face if that word is not in your dictionary."

Aidou scowled, "That's not what I mean! Since when were we friends? You can barely remember my name!"

"That's not true! I remember your name perfectly!"

"What's my name then."

"Aidou."

"S—"

"Hannibal. Aidou Hannibal."

"…..Just go wash the dishes."

"Okay! Hey best friend, you want me to wash that for you or what?"

Aidou Hanabusa was going to kill himself one day because of Watanabe Miki.

* * *

**Me: There's more of a dialogue than anything in this chapter because I just enjoy writing conversations between idiots...And because I hate writing deep meaningful paragraphs for simple insults. Like, seriously? You guys get the point. No need for me to shit out my brains trying to explain why their insults are so vulgar. Even a monkey could figure it out. RIGHT ZERO? LAUGH WITH ME!**

**Zero: No.**

**Me: LAUGH ZERO, LAUGH! YOUR LAUGH IS SO ADORABLE! MAMORU MIYANO VOICED YOU DAMMIT!**

**Zero: The answer is still no.**

**Me: Damn. TT^TT**


	5. Fools In Love

**Me: So guys, I'll be heading to Missouri and I won't update until after the following week cause I don't get back to Louisiana on Monday at 3 A.M. So yeah…Sorry guys…I rove you?**

**Aidou: LIES.**

**Me: To make up for it, MORE SHIKI AND LESS AIDOU SCREEN TIME.**

**Aidou: THAT'S NOT FAIR.**

**Me: YES IT IS!**

**Aidou: NO IT'S NOT!**

**Me: ZERO, STOP THIS MONSTROSITY!**

**Zero: No.**

**Me: SHIKI!**

**Shiki: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino. Now excuse me, I must go and fight. -_-**

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

**Fools In Love**

"Good job today Shiki, Rima! The photo shoot was a success!" Their manager exclaimed, beaming at them with happiness. They nodded un-interestedly, mood darkening at the bright sunny atmosphere shining through the glass-paned windows. Vampires weren't used to staying out in the morning. Shiki exchanged a bland look with Rima, wondering why their human manager couldn't get the hint and drop them back off at the academy. "Ah! Waitress, two large strawberry parfaits over here please!"

"Coming up!" The waitress replied, never looking back.

The manager smiled, "Yes, anyway. The reason I wanted to take you to this place is to reward you for all of the hard work you have done! Eat up okay? It's all on me!" Shiki and Rima exchanged blank, irritated stares until two large cup with strawberry parfaits in it. The manager smiled and gave the wad of bills to the waitress. "Here you go."

Yakama, the waitress, shook her head furiously, blushing. "It's on the house! I-If it's okay…Can I please get an autograph from Rima-sama?" Her face was bright red, and the pen and paper in her hands were shaking furiously.

The manager's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. "You want Rima's autograph? Not Shiki's? Are you serious?"

"Yeah. What's your point?"

"Are you a lesbian?"

Yakama placed her hands on her hips, glaring at her. "So what if I am? Got a problem with it?"

"N-No! It's just…." The manager massaged the side of her forehead. "Never mind. Rima, just give her your autograph as a thank you."

Rima signed the paper, pinching her lips together when Yakama began squealing. "Here."

"THANK YOU RIMA-SAMA! I LOVE YOU!" Yakama had tears flowing down her eyes, sniffing.

"Hn."

There was a crash coming from the entrance and Yakama face palmed. Cursing under her breath, she marched over to the doors and pulled it open. "I already told you, you stupid dick! It's PUSH when you're coming in, and PULL when you're going out. "

"BABY PLEASE. I just rammed my face into the glass, the least you could do is kiss me and make it better!" Miki snapped, rubbing her red nose thoroughly. Stepping into the girlie store, she made stomped over to the table behind Shiki and Rima; sitting down, she threw her feet up on the table nonchalantly. "I want to order a latte; can you tell them to write the word Bat Shit and send it Shiki-san?" She jabbed a thumb at the red head staring blankly at the wall, scooping up the parfait and shoving it in his mouth promptly. Miki's thumb hit the back of his head. "Thanks. For me, I just want an espresso."

"You're not joking right?"

"Nope."

Shiki craned his neck around and stared at her. "Why do I deserve something like that?"

"Because you know, you can turn into a bat. Oh, and because I consider you shit for doing the_ you-know-what_ to me."

Yakama furrowed her eyebrows, "He-who-must-not-be-named?"

"I'm not talking about Voldemort! Now go get my stuff!"

Shiki nodded, "So you remembered?"

"I do, asshole!"

He held up a hand, "Please, refrain from using profanity around my presence. It's very unattractive, and I feel that it reduces my IQ."

Miki's lips curled upwards, "Nugget porn."

"I made my point clear."

"Shiki. Don't bother with her," Rima stated, barely turning around.

"YEAH SHIKI-SAN! LISTEN TO RIMA-SAMA!"

Miki stood up and grabbed Yakama by the waist, heaving her up and chucking her in the back kitchen. She whipped her fake blonde head back over to Shiki, glaring at his dry expression. "DAMN IT SHIKI! YOU LISTEN TO ME, AND YOU LISTEN TO ME GOOD. IF YOU PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN, I'M GONNA POST YOUR NUDES ON THE INTERNET."

The manager gasped, "You have that?"

Miki scoffed and rolled her eyes, "DUH. I have it for blackmail!"

"Shiki! Listen to her! She could ruin your reputation!"

Shiki sighed. "Yes manager."

"Now apologize to me!" Miki exclaimed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Why?"

"...Seriously dude? You're going to ask me why? I feel like jamming that parfait down up your nostrils just because you asked me that."

Yakama stepped back in with a latte, on the top was a few kanjis formed to say, "BAT SHIT." She set it down in front Shiki. "This is from the crazy girl behind you." Taking two steps to the right, she placed an espresso down. "Here's your espresso you irrational prostitute."

Miki gasped. "BITCH. I ORDERED MILK CHOCOLATE!" She picked up the cup and threw it on the ground.

"…."

"I'm joking. I ordered an espresso. Now go get me it," she giggled.

"DAMN IT MIKI! YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY TIME YOU COME HERE!" Yakama screeched, grabbing Miki by the collar and shaking her back and forth.

Shiki stared at the latte and picked it up.

"Shiki, you don't actually plan on drinking that, do you?" Rima asked, raising her eyebrows curiously.

"Hn." He drank it quietly and then set it down on the ground. "Manager, I think it's time for you to drive us back to the academy. Ichijou-san messaged me thirty minutes ago."

"S-Sure. This place is getting rowdy anyway." Standing up, they shuffled their way out of the café.

"Manager, you're supposed to pull the door to go out, " Rima stated.

"I-I knew that!" Quickly they left, Shiki sparing one last glance at Miki with a small smirk.

Miki shrieked, "DAMN IT ALL AI! JUST GET ME MY ESPRESSO!"

"THAT _WAS_ YOUR ESPRESSO! WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK IT OFF FROM THE GROUND SINCE YOU THREW IT THERE?"

"THAT'S GROSS DUDE!"

"YOU'RE GROSS!"

"Okay."

"Fine."

"….Can I seriously get a new espresso?"

Yakama exhaled and face palmed. "You're paying double the price."

"I'm perfectly A-okay with that." The waitress went to the back and then came out with a new drink, setting it down on the table. "Thanks Ai."

"Humph. Do it one more time and I'll have the manager never allow you to come back in here."

"Ha-ha. That's hilarious," Miki retorted. She leaned back in the chair, observing the other customers out of sheer boredom. _That couple looks like they're about to break up. That group of guys are just waiting for a hot, single girl to come in so they can hit on her. The adult buy himself is just organizing paperwork. The woman is reading her magazine, trying to look busy when she's just sulking because she's old and single. _This, is how Watanabe Miki spends her weekend/weekdays after (or during) school if Yakama was working at the café.

Normally, she would have gone to visit her normal parents; after all, their store was right next door to the dance studio she took classes from. If her mother wasn't so damn fucked-up, and her dad wasn't such a cheap bastard she would visit them often. The only thing she really came back was to get some ingredients to cook a delicious gourmet and hand it to Yakama for the smaller girl to make. [Call Miki a heartless teenager, but you would do the same if you had her parents. What would you do if you came home to see your parents dressed as clowns, singing opera?]

Yakama clocked out of work and changed her uniform, wearing a short denim jumpsuit and boots. "Come on, let's go back to the academy before they write us up for being out too late."

Miki waved her away, "You can go back first. I need a few hours to think."

"Porn?"

She gave a wry smile, "Yeah. Porn."

"All right. I'll see you later then hoe."

"Bye bye!"

The tan female slumped in the chair, running her hands through her dry locks roughly before groaning. "Damn it, I'm gonna punch that Shiki bastard—acting all nonchalant over erasing my memories and not giving a single fuck. That's supposed to be my job. Stupid cunt." She grunted and threw a wad of bills no the table. "I'll just punch him in his titty the next time I see his face." As she was about to exit, the sight of Yuuki rushing out of the store caught her eyes. "….I should follow her! But if I follow her she would call me a stalker and try hitting me, and everything would be cliché…." In the end, Miki ran after Yuuki crying hysterically, "BABY COME BACK! YOU CAN BLAME IT AAALLL ON MEEEE!"

Yuuki stopped running and glanced back, "M-Miki-chan!"

"That is a me name! Mario~," she chirped in odd Japanese, saluting Yuuki nazi-style.

"W-What are you doing out here?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"B-B-But it's a weekday! And I'm out running an errand for the chairman!"

"Yes, and I skipped class today to go support my friend at work! It's a win-win situation, hm?" They were beginning to walk and Miki took note of Yuuki's eyes darting around frantically and her twitchy mood. "Seriously man, what's wrong? You can tell me anything." Her hands were placed firmly on Yuuki's shoulders. "_Anything. _Even your little crush on Number-five-o."

"You mean Zero right?"

"No, I meant Twent—" Miki's ears twitched and she jumped to the side when Yuuki whipped Artemis out, guarding herself from the—"WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS SON OF A BITCH THINK HE IS? WITH HIS DAMN FANGS AND HIS GAY OUTFIT." She marched up to the vampire, stamping her heel down on his feet harshly. "DON'T TOUCH HER ASSHOLE."

The vampire's nose twitched and his eyes reverted back to dark brown. "Your blood smells terrible!"

"Excusez moi?"

"Your blood!" He repeated. "It smells terrible!"

"Wait a minute! Why does my blood smells terrible but hers doesn't?"

He shrugged, "Maybe you're a were—" The Level E vampire emitted a scream, flying back when Artemis came in contact with him square in the face.

"Don't space out," Zero snapped.

Yuuki gave a sheepish smile, "Sorry, they were both just kind of…you know…talking."

Sparks came out from Artemis and struck Zero's hand. Zero scowled, "It seems that it doesn't like me holding it to some extent."

"Then let it go sexy," Miki retorted. As the Level E vampire clutched his face, the sports girl turned back to face him. "Now you listen here bitch, and you listen to me good! What were you planning to say to me before this sexy piece of hunk attacked you? That I'm a weredog? A werecat? A werefox? A werepanda? I KNOW. A WEREVOLDEMORT! OR A WERE-THE-BOY-WHO-LIVED! Get it? Did you get the pun?" Everything except werewolf popped up into her head. "Dang monkey's bottom."

"Watanabe."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay bab—OH SHIT!" A sword sliced the through the vampire from between the body, and dust exploded everywhere in the vicinity. Miki gasped and choked, "Ewwww! I think I got dust in my fucking throat! Tastes like…Actually, his dust tastes like sweet and sour chicken. Is that weird?"

Zero face palmed, and Yuuki began laughing sheepishly. "Ichijou-senpai! Shiki-senpai!"

"Oh….Hey Bat Shit. Hey Ichisole-senpai," Miki waved.

Ichijou sheathed his word, smiling. "Hello."

Shiki's eyes darted towards Miki and back to Ichijou. "You didn't really need me here…" He yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Why did you both do such a thing?" Yuuki asked, frowning.

Ichijou smiled again, "If it bothers you, come to the Moon Dorm tonight. We can take our time talking about why I finished off that Level E."

"You're not fucking around are you?"

"Nope!"

"Okay. Meet you tonight then broski!"

Zero glared at her, "Who said you can come?"

"Try and stop me, and I'll make sure to send a video of you laughing to everyone."

"I don't laugh."

"That's the best part of it."

He scowled. "You better not or I'll hit you."

"If you hit me, a girl, I'll shove my foot up your ass."

"Is that a threat?"

"No sir. An empty warning."

"You guys! Just calm down!" Yuuki exclaimed, separating them.

"Asshat!"

"Idiot."

* * *

Miki arrived with Yakama by her side (after explaining the events). Zero looked displeased, but ushered them to go ahead because Miki would be able to fend off the vampires with her idiotic personality; signaling that he wanted private time to talk to Yuuki about something urgent. Excusing the both of them, they went ahead without them. "Hey, you have anything to eat? I'm kinda of hungry."

"I have a granola bar?" Yakama replied.

"That will do!"

Yakama fished through her jeans and threw one at her. "Eat it while it's hot!"

"It's warm."

"Eat it!" Shrugging, Miki tore through the wrapper and ate the granola bar slowly. Walking at a slow pace, both of them fell into a comfortable silence until Aidou and Kain jumped out, scaring Yakama. "HIIEEEE!" she screeched, tripping over her feet (more like Miki shoving her foot on the other's girl's back to steady her healthy meal from falling. Yakama blinked, dark brown eyes clashing with a pair of light orange. "A-A-Ah. K-Kain-san," she said, flustered.

He nodded and helped her back up, "Sorry about that. Hanabusa wanted to surprise the both of you."

"Akatsuki!" Aidou whined. Kain shrugged, gazing at Yakama's small frame. Awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his neck and turned away, shoving his hands in his pocket roughly. Aidou grinned cheekily and nudged his cousin in the ribs, and then pivoted his body to face athlete. "I'm surprised you were there to witness the Level E dying. To think that you accidentally swallowed some of his remains."

"Hey you little shit. That stuff exploded everywhere!" Miki snapped irately.

"Uh huh." He clicked his tongue, furrowing his eyebrows. "By the way…what are you wearing?"

Miki glanced down at her wardrobe. Black tights and dark-blue print hooded sweater dress, with a black beanie. "Swag?"

"No. No swag you illiterate fool."

"Come on Aidou! Don't you think I look cute?" She spun around, and gave a fake giggle.

"….Don't do that again."

"But why?"

"It looks funny," Aidou snorted.

"SAY THAT AGAIN YOU TWAT!" Miki roared, tackling him. They rolled around on the ground wrestling each other until Aidou managed to flip their positions—both of them breathing heavily. Her gray eyes grew round at the warm breath hitting her neck. "Aidou."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "What?"

"I just realized how hot you are because I think I felt my ovaries explode!"

Aidou jumped away from her, "That's disgusting!"

She nodded and pushed herself off the ground. _Anything to get away from you and stop making me feel weird. _"Ah. Hey, you two finally finished with your emotional speech?" Yuuki blushed and Zero scowled again. "Too blunt?"

"A little," Yuuki replied curtly.

They directed their gaze to Yakama twiddling her fingers shyly and Kain standing like a robot. Miki rolled her eyes and picked up the rest of the fallen granola. "Right! Well let's get going! I want to know what the hell is going on. So Aidou, go guide us you bastard."

"We have to do it anyway. The vice dorm president asked us to," Kain sighed, leading the way.

Aidou looked repulsed, "Did you just picked up that granola bar from the ground? Are you planning to still eat it?"

"Do you turn into a bat?"

"No."

"Then that means I'm still eating this delicious snack." They were getting closer to the designated place and Miki's mouth was chewing on the treat faster with the increase of vampires staring at them. A vampire couple sucking on each other's blood caught her eyes and she began choking furiously. Swallowing it, Miki started laughing hysterically—slapping Aidou in the back.

"Ow! Stop hitting me!" Aidou exclaimed.

"S-Sorry!" Miki grinned, throwing her head back in delight. "You vampires are just hilarious."

Peering over Kain's shoulders, everyone had a bead of sweat rolling down the side of their forehead. Ichijou clapped his hands together and then held his arms out in the open. "Welcome you guys! Tonight is my birthday party! I want you to enjoy yourself!"

"I-I didn't come here to visit you!" Yuuki commented. "I wanted to ask you something about today."

"Screw that, let's eat!" Miki shouted, picking up a tray and loading it with food.

"That's the spirit Miki-chan!" Ichijou agreed.

Yakama's palm ran down her face and she dragged the girl away when the "serious" people began discussing the earlier events. "You know, I have a feeling that we should be listening to them but I can't bring myself to care about it," the shorter female sighed. "But is it just me or is Kain-senpai hot?"

Miki swallowed the drumstick and stared. "Ai….are you…are you going heterosexual on me?"

"S-Shut up!"

Her eyes teared up. "YOU'RE GOING HETEROSEXUAL ON ME!" She threw the food aside and tackled her, rubbing her face into Yakama's pants. "PLEASE DON'T THIS TO ME! I WON'T EVER HAVE A LESBIAN FRIEND EVER AGAIN!"

"Hey! Miki! Stop! You're embarrassing me!" Yakama exclaimed in a hushed whisper.

"All right!" Miki bounced up and grabbed her by the wrist. Dragging her over to Kain, she shoved her into the tall man's chest. "Put your banana in her donut hole."

Kain's and Yakama's eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. "_What?_"

Humming in pleasure, she skipped back over to the table of food and discovered Shiki sucking Ichijou's blood. "Uhh….You guys aren't…Umm…you know…Gay right?" It was weird because it was only a minute ago that she was talking about not having a gay friend. And then this sight shows up...She might actually acquire a new homosexual friend after all.

Shiki lifted his head and licked the remaining blood off his lips. "Pardon?"

"Sorry. Homosexual if you guys feel offended!" She corrected.

Ichijou chuckled, "We're not. This is considered normal in Vampire Society."

"Wait a minute, being a homosexual is considered normal to you guys?"

"Well, no, not really—"

"RACISM."

"But—"

"Can I have that cake?"

"Ichijou-san, it's best to just leave her alone," Shiki intervened, before the blonde vampire could start crying in exasperation.

"Y-Yeah." Ichijou handed her a plate of cake. "Enjoy."

"Thanks Ichijou."

He gasped, "You remembered my name?"

"Ichijou Takuma. You're the guy I gave my Fairy Tail collection too," she replied, toying with the cake.

"Wow! So you do remember my name!"

"Yeah! Ai wouldn't stop kicking me in the crotch if I kept saying it wrong."

"Huh?"

"That was my exact reaction when she told me."

"Oh, okay! Well I'll be right back! I need to talk to my other guests! You just...Just stay here please." Ichijou scurried away from her hastily.

She waved, "See ya." Miki's began picking at the cake before eating it. "This tastes like garbage."

Shiki averted his eyes over to her, "Are you not used to high class food?"

"This is high class?"

"Yes. The ingredients are imported from different countries too."

"Poor vampires. You guys have been depraved from knowing what good food really is."

"On the contrary, I think that you're the one who don't know what good food is."

"Bat shit please!"

"My name is Shiki."

"You're demoted to Bat Shit for erasing my memories."

"I was told to," Shiki grunted.

Miki lifted her eyes from the (now) empty plate and glared at him. "You didn't have to follow your orders."

"Kaname-sama is a pureblood. I have to obey him no matter what."

Throwing away her trash, she stood next to him. Slowly, she forced out the words, "Did you wanted to do it?"

"Erase your memories? Honestly, I didn't care at that time," Shiki replied flatly. He caught her form stiffening in anger and continued, "If I knew you were going to throw a fit about it, I would have told Kaname-sama to tell someone else to do it. You're really troublesome, throwing a fit over something so trivial."

"_Trivial?_"

"Yes, trivial. You lost your memories, but you regained it. Must you really hold a grudge over it?"

"YOU—YOU—…UGH!" Miki stomped her foot on the ground. "Don't…_Don't_ fucking do this to me! Don't you twist your words and use it against me you asshole!" Shiki blinked, taking a step back when she thrust a finger in his face rudely. "I trusted you that day and you ruined it! I became friends with you and you—you manipulated me and my feelings!"

Shiki ran a hand through his maroon-colored hair, exhaustedly. "We only interacted with each other that single day in a few hours. How can you possibly trust me so easily and befriend me quickly? And what feelings?" He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, studying her confused expression. Miki was biting the bottom of her lip, glaring at the floor, trying to rack through her brains for an answer. Slowly, he dawdled out, "Are you infatuated with me?"

Her jaw dropped, "Have you lost your mind?"

He shrugged. "It was just a speculation. So are you?"

She gave an empty laugh, "I don't know bruh. I've never been infatuated in my life unless you count the times I commented on how attractive someone could be."

"Watanabe-san."

Miki tilted her head up, "Yeah?"

A warm smile appeared on Shiki's face, "You're really odd."

Catching the rare show of emotion from him, her face heated up and she pouted, "And you're a sparkling bastard."

"How cruel."

"YEAH? TOO BAD. HEY AI. LET'S GO HOME." Yakama glanced over from the conversation she was having with Kain and gave her a middle finger, before returning to it with a cheerful beam. "Che! Stupid heterosexual. Hey, tell that orange guy to return her when this party is done. I'm leaving." Gathering up a plate full of food, Miki huffed and walked out on the party.

The maroon-haired vampire swirled the red colored liquid in his glass cup emotionlessly. Not peering up, he asked, "Aidou-san, how long have you been listening?"

Grumpily, Aidou snatched a plate of cake off the table. "Don't get too involved with her Shiki."

Shiki lifted his head up and inclined his head, "I can say the same to you."

"It's none of your business!"

"Hn."

_Why do I even care about that stupid human anyway? _

From afar, Miki sneezed and threw the plate up, gasping when it dropped on the floor. "MY FOOD!" Running back to the party, she pushed Aidou aside and grabbed a plate, filling it back up. "Whew! My dinner for today is acquired!"

"Someone, just kill me now."

"Gladly, Aidou-san."

* * *

**Me: Reviews are appreciated botches. :D**


	6. Jealousy

**Me: AND SO I UPDATED….FINALLY. AND GUESS WHAT?**

**Aidou: More screen time for me!**

**Me: AND NOT SHIKI! HOW DO YOU FEEL SHIKI?**

**Shiki: -_- Hurt.**

**Me: Liar. :D**

**Shiki: Whatever. Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino. **

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

**Jealousy**

Aidou never thought he would want to rip out someone's organs because of Watanabe Miki. (Actually, yes he did. _This time_ was different though.) The small glances she would send Shiki when she thought nobody was looking at her, the blush dusting her cheeks when Shiki spared her a glance out of curiosity (or something else maybe?), or just from the mention of his name would she fully give someone her attention. It was incredibly idiotic, and the blonde vampire was getting fed up with her ridiculous behavior. Why did she only act that way to Shiki? Why not him? _He_ met her first. Not Shiki. Aidou groaned in frustration and rolled around in his bed, aggravated. "Argh! I'm getting worked up over nothing! I shouldn't even care about her!"

"By _her_, do you mean Watanabe Miki?" Kain asked, boring his light orange eyes into his cousin. He rubbed at his tired eyes and yawned, throwing his cover aside to sit up properly—leaning his back against the headboard.

"Akatsuki!" Aidou exclaimed in surprised. "Since when were you up?"

"When you started speaking to yourself and moving around," he replied with a grunt. "It's morning and you're already awake when you should be asleep right now." Kain yawned again, still tired. "Is that girl getting to your head?"

"…Not at all."

"Uh huh." Casually, he took a food magazine from underneath his pillow and flipped through it. There was a protracted silence that passed them before Kain carefully asked, "Have you noticed that she's taken a huge liking to Shiki?"

The blonde's reaction was immediate and he snapped at him, "So!"

Rolling his eyes, Kain said bluntly, "You're jealous."

"_Me_? J-_Jealous_?" Aidou cried out in shock, sitting up in a swift motion. "I am _not_ jealous! In fact, I am cool! I am calm! Just look at how calm I am!" As you can tell, Aidou wasn't cool _nor_ was he calm. He was far from that. He was on border-line _insane_ after meeting Miki.

"Sure."

Aidou scowled deeply, huffing. "Tch. Someone like you won't ever understand."

"Of course." _He's in denial._

There was another moment of silence and Kain could hear a figure plopping on the end of his bed. Looking up from his magazine, he saw Aidou staring at him with his blue eyes widely in a childish manner—lips were pursed too in a pout. Leaning closer to Kain, Aidou said in a hushed voice, "Just out of curiosity though, what if I am j-jealous? What do you think I should do?...Well, hypothetically speaking, what _would_ I do I suppose.."

Smugly, Kain said slowly, "I think you _should_ tell her what you feel from the bottom of your heart."

"…That sounds stupid Akatsuki. Why should—I mean, why _would_ I do that?"

"You _should_ do that because Miki might start paying attention to you more," Kain retorted sarcastically. "Honestly Hanabusa, just tell her what you feel. There's always a possibility that Watanabe might reciprocate your feelings of love."

"Feelings of love? For that stupid girl?" Aidou turned red and he flailed his arms in a flustered manner, surly. "I don't love her! She's just my source of…my source of entertainment!"

"So that explains why your eyes light up whenever you see her? Why you would sit in the empty cooking classroom waiting for her? How you always give your full attention at just the sound of her name, or when she's near us? The dirty glares you send Shiki because she won't look at _you_? Hanabusa, you rarely stay in homeroom to guard Kaname-sama anymore. Have you noticed that?"

Kain hit a sensitive point when he brought Kaname into the topic because Aidou stood up from the bed, eyes wide when he shouted angrily, "Kaname-sama will always be my top priority no matter what happens because I'm his friend! Not even that human can get in my way!...Watanabe is..just...is just…" What was she to him? Furiously, Aidou ran his hands through his locks wildly trying to figure out what in the world Miki meant to him. He couldn't _understand_. And just the fact that he didn't know what the hell she was in his life aggravated him more than anything.

"You can't say Watanabe is your entertainment because you know that she's really not," Kain stated flatly.

"But…She's human…" Aidou quietly seated himself back on the end of the bed, trying to calm himself.

Kain made a movement to shrug his shoulders, "There's the possibility that she could be a werewolf."

"That's even worse!"

"Hanabusa. Listen to my example carefully. You and Shiki are like the only two children of an old hag. During Christmas, Santa Clause comes to visit. Yes, _Santa Clause_. He has a huge red bag full of presents. Now imagine the excitement of him pulling out each present, and before Santa hands the present to somebody, you're thinking it's being given to you—only to be disappointed because the present goes to Shiki in the end. Now Santa will keep on doing this repeatedly until you speak up and ask if he has one for you. Until then, you will keep on being disappointed."

"Akatsuki."

"Yeah?"

"That's the worst example I have ever heard in all of my life," Aidou stated with amusement. "Have you been hanging out with that Yakama girl?"

Kain only shrugged nonchalantly again. "I guess you're going to be the child that never receives his present."

In response to the insult, Aidou grabbed Kain's pillow and threw it at him in childish anger, "I don't want that!"

The orange-haired vampire grunted, and threw the pillow aside. "You're acting like a kid Hanabusa. If you don't want that, do something about it. That's the last time I'm going to say that."

"…You're right Akatsuki. I have to do something. I refuse to give my entertainment"—Kain sighed—"to Shiki, I found her first!" Determinedly, the blonde vampire stood up and declared dramatically, "I'll tell her everything I feel about her and Watanabe Miki shall swoon to my charming looks and personality!"

"Sure."

"Yeah!"

Uncharacteristically, Kain ordered him to, "Go make me a sandwich."

Aidou's eyes then narrowed into slits, "I'll kill you."

When Kaname walked into their shared room to see them wrestling on the floor, he walked straight back out. Let this be a lesson to the Night Class that in a private room, Aidou was a child and Kain was the aloof parent catering to the spoiled kid.

* * *

Today was what everyone dubbed it because of Miki, "Zombie Thursday of the Month." On this particular Thursday, Miki would dress up as a zombie—with the raggedy clothes and caked on make-up—to look like one. She would sit in random classrooms each period with her arms held out frigidly while repeatedly saying a croaked manner, "Brrraaaiinnnnsss!" And then chomp on a piece of frozen un-cooked meat she brought with her to class from her parent's store. Yes, everyone must be thinking of how the hell she managed to get away from getting suspended or being given a punishment. Obviously, she didn't. No, Miki got in trouble from it everytime she did it until the teachers gave up on her. It started with forcing her to write long essays on why she shouldn't do it, to detentions, to suspensions, to suspensions and detentions, until they gave up. Now it was considered normal to find her dressed as zombie on one Thursday of the month...somewhat.

This particular Thursday though, Miki decided to come to Yakama's classroom and sit right next to her—permanently scaring off all of the other girl's friends. (The intelligent ones that didn't want to associate with her.) Miki chewed on frozen pork, eyes wide with dark rings under her eyes with the effects of make-up. "B-B-braaiinnss! Must eat braaaaiiinnns! WAAHHH HAHAHAHAHA!" Miki thumped her forehead against the table stood up and walked around the classroom slowly, bumping into the tables and chairs many times and slapping another student with her elbow.

"MIKI! SIT DOWN!" Yakama ordered, giving an exasperated glare.

"O-o-o-oooohhhkaaay." As you can tell, Miki did not know how to act like a killer zombie at all. It doesn't mean that it was still pretty fun to watch from another person's point of view. The blonde plopped down in the seat, staring at random students with freakishly wide eyes.

Yakama propped her elbow up on the table and placed her cheek into it, leaning. Glaring at Miki, she asked, "Why do you always do this to me?"

"Because it's fun," Miki chirped, chortling in delight as girl jumped out from her desk and ran to the other side of the classroom. "At least I'm not dressing up as Slender. Okay?" The word Slender sparked up screams of horror.

_"SLENDER? WHERE?"_

_"NOT SLENDER!"_

_"EVERYONE **RUN**!"_

The classroom became empty in a matter of a few minutes—save for the two females. Yakama ran a palm down her face in exhaustion. Miki then proceeded to grin widely in a douchey manner, laughing hysterically. "See what I mean now? Everyone's afraid of Slender! Cause Slender's a fucking creepy asshole who stalks you after you pick up a piece of note!" She grabbed onto Yakama, eyes darting around frantically before whispering quietly, "_Slender." _This is what happens when you let a child play a horror PC game. Take note of this and don't ever let the incident happen again.

"For the last time, Slender isn't real!"

"WOAH THERE!" Miki jumped away from Yakama. "CALM DOWN. Charlie Brown…NYAHAHA! NYAHAHA!"

"You're an idiot."

"Wao…."

Sighing dramatically again, Yakama laid her head down on the wooden surface in a depressed manner. "Miki…I have a confession to make."

She gasped. "A-are you actually choosing to confide your secrets in me? That's…kind of scary. Because that means I don't have to look for your diary anymore and read what you're hiding from me. Then that means I won't have to look through your cute stuff at all. I like your cute stuff too! And if that happens…THEN THAT MEANS THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND SLENDER IS GOING TO COME. NO, _NOT **SLENDER**_." Miki stood up and began screaming bloody murder.

"IT'S NOT ABOUT SLENDER!"

"Oh, okay." Miki sat back down in the chair and peered at Yakama with curiosity. "So what's wrong with you?"

"It's just…Well…" Yakama gazed at the table firmly, twiddling her thumbs nervously. There were too many things she wanted to say but she couldn't. How was she supposed to tell Miki? What if Miki got mad at her once she discovered the truth? Yakama bit her lips. Would Miki not want to be her friend anymore? Their entire relationship were actually built on and on because of the simple fact that, "I'm not a lesbian anymore." Because Yakama was actually a lesbian pretending to be boy crazy, and now she was actually boy crazy. Lesbian jokes after lesbian jokes; that was the prime reason why Miki stayed with her, wasn't it? Because she wanted a gay friend?

Miki stared at her flatly with a blank expression…And continued staring at her. Finally, she lifted up an arm and slapped Yakama on the cheek with the piece of meat. "That's what I think about your shitty confession."

Yakama peeled it off her face, shrieking loudly. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR YOU DICK?"

"I was just thinking about how irrelevant your confession was. I mean come on, you're actually heterosexual now. What's there to complain about? I MEAN SURE, I'm gonna miss cracking a lot of gay jokes at you—but you're still _you_. Now maybe if you started caking your face in make-up and start talking like a valley girl, that's when shit gets serious bruh. You dig me?"

Tears were beginning to prickle the shorter girl's eyes because Miki was actually considerate of her feelings, and she had offered the shorter girl words of comfort. Sniffing, she nodded in understanding. Lamely, Yakama choked out, "I dig."

"Good. Because I brought shovels."

"…."

* * *

"It's been such a long time since I came to track practice," Miki hummed to herself, stretching her long legs carefully. When she appeared at practice this afternoon, her manager had scolded her harshly before patting her on the head and forcing her to run fifty laps—to make sure that she was still fit to join the competitions. "Hey Sato! Get me a towel please! I'm sweating buckets of sea over here!"

Her teammate looked over her shoulders and threw her a clean towel on the bench, "Here."

Miki caught it and wiped her face, "Thanks."

"No problem."

Spreading her legs across the fake grass, she used the towel as a pillow and laid back, gazing upwards at the orange sky. "This is the cliché scene where a hot guy comes and lay right next to me. OR I fall asleep and everyone leaves me here, and then the guy I like shows up and tells me how much he loves me! But then again, that'll never happen." An image of a smiling Shiki appeared, and she blushed. _NUH UH. NOT HIM! NOT HIM._ Punching a fist in the air, she screamed embarrassedly, "I'M NOT INAFTUATED WITH YOU!" There was no response. Not even a whisper from her teammates of how ridiculously weird she was being. Miki sat up and blinked, taken aback. "When the hell did everyone leave?"

No response.

"AWWWWHHH MAN! THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME THEY DID THIS TO ME! THEM BASTARDS!" Grumpily, Miki stood up and grabbed her Adidas sport's bag, stomping back to the entrance. "I'll take a shower back at the dorm. Every one of them has fucking athlete's foot and long hair they leave in the drains! It's gross! But first…" Her stomach growled. "I'm hungry…Good hygiene first…Or staying alive and satisfying my hunger…HOW ABOUT SHOWERING _AND_ EATING AT THE SAME TIME! GENIUS! I'M A FREAKING GENIUS! But first I got to make my sandwich before I could eat in the shower."

_That was the original plan._

In the end, Miki snuck into the Home Economics classroom before someone could lock it up. Digging through the fridge, she found a lot of puddings hidden in the back. Pulling them out, she set it across the counter top and pulled a plastic spork—yes, a spork (spoon and fork)—out of her pockets. So she sat at the counter, eating silently while contemplating how delicious stolen pudding tasted in her mouth. _I'll just shower later…OR DUNK MY HEAD IN THIS SINK WATER AND CLAIM I HAD SHOWERED WHEN I REALLY DIDN'T! HA-HA!_

"You smell disgusting."

The spork in Miki's hand snapped in half. Tilting her chin up, her eyes locked with, "Oh...It's you."

Aidou glared at her, 'What do you mean by _it's you_? That should be _me_ saying it's you." But something struck him. Maybe it was the disappointed tone she used with him. It made him wonder if perhaps Miki would have been happier if _Shiki_ was here instead of him. It grated his nerves easily, and he pushed those unwanted thoughts aside. Pulling out a chair, he sat next to her as he usually did when she appeared. "You finally came after two weeks."

"Yeah…I got hungry," Miki said, shoving another spoon full of pudding in her mouth. "It's been hard trying to sneak out at night when the prefects know of my hobby. It's kind of annoying, but at least they didn't make me become a prefect for knowing the Night Class's secret."

"You do realize that if you become a prefect, you can come here more often to eat. Right?" Aidou pointed out.

"…HOLY SHIT." Aidou rolled his eyes and snatched her broken spork, using it to eat. "HEY! THAT'S MY SPORK!"

"Spork?"

She grinned cheekily, "A combination between a spoon and fork: A SPORK. Incredible huh?"

"Absolutely," he said sarcastically, eating again. Miki swiped it back from him and spooned another full of the dessert, happily snacking on it. Aidou's blue eyes trailed the utensils, and his eyes were trained intently on how she licked her lips casually, flicking out the tip of her red tongue. When he realized his actions, he turned scarlet and embarrassedly looked the other way to avoid the awkward conversation that might come up; but it didn't. Instead, he smashed his forehead against the counter when he also realized that he just shared the same utensil with Miki. That meant…He had…an indirect kiss with her. _Oh no. _Was he supposed to be happy that he beat Shiki at something or project his vomit in the sink? However…Unconsciously, his hand flew up to his lips and he touched it. The sound of his heart beating at a fast pace reached his ears and it made him feel…odd in a good way.

"Hanabusa."

He glanced at her with a strange emotion in his eyes, "What is it?"

"I'm a fucking walrus." Miki showed him the chopsticks she shoved up her nostrils.

"…."

"OH COME ON MAN! I thought it was pretty funny." She took out the chopsticks and cleaned it in the sink—along with a pile of empty dishes. A genuine, sincere soft smile showed up on her face. It wasn't the blatant arrogant type, nor was it the brash sort of smile. Miki look much more…_feminine_, Aidou thought. Then she ruined it with her comment, "If you laugh more, I'm sure you'll get a girlfriend one day and lose your virginity! And smile more too! Because it's sexy."

"I smile and laugh!" he defended.

"In front of your boyfriend?"

"Who?"

"Kain."

Aidou's jaw dropped. "HE'S MY COUSIN."

"Oh…That's kind of awkward…I mean, having your cousin as a boyfriend? Man, you vampires sure are weird." Miki began putting away the plates slowly.

"WE'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!"

"Really"

"Yes, _really_."

"…So is he single?"

Nodding fervently, he answered, "Yes." Because there was no fucking way was Aidou going to let her keep thinking that he was gay for his damn cousin.

"Wow! Amazing! That's a good thing! You know, my friend likes him a lot. He made her heterosexual."

"Is it that Yakama girl?"

"Yeah!" Her eyes were gleaming brightly and she asked him, "Does he like her too?"

"...Maybe."

Miki jumped up from her seat and tackled him, holding his hand tightly. "Will you help me set them up on a date together? PRETTY PRETTY PAH-LEASE?"

"_What?_"

"PAAAAHH-LEEEAASSEE!"

There was just something about the way she asked Aidou that made him want to agree. Inclining his head, he said, "I'll do it on one condition."

"I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" he repeated hesitantly.

She nodded, "Anything. I promise."

"Then…" Aidou used a free hand and put it against the back of her head, forcing her closer to him. Moving forward, he murmured against her ear softly, "_Look at me more than Shiki."_ Pulling away, Aidou felt satisfied with the bewildered expression on her face along with the same pink color dusting her cheeks. "Meet me here tomorrow so we can plan everything out."

"T-tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Until tomorrow, would Aidou come to regret his decision on telling her to look at him more.

* * *

**Me: Sorry for late update, but yeah…I got back from Missouri. And then I have school this Wednesday…PLEASE FORGIVE ME. But on a sidenote, I know this chapter isn't all that funny cause my sense of humor kind of died a little when I was surrounded by uncivilized Asians—NO MATTER HOW HOT THE GUYS ARE THE OLD PEOPLE WERE RUDE—so yeah.**

**Zero: In short words, she wanted to say she's going to update late because she's lazy and her writing skills are becoming horrid.**

**Me**: **ZERO! HOW COULD YOU?**

**Zero: Just speaking the truth.**

**Me: I know~. SO HERE'S AN EXTRA BECAUSE I UPDATED LATE BECAUSE I WAS GONE.**

**OMAKE**

"You told her to look at you more than Shiki?" Kain repeated, after Aidou re-told him the events that happened earlier.

Aidou smiled, "Genius isn't it? She even blushed!"

"Hanabusa."

"What?"

"Prepare to be stalked."

"Huh?"

Kain shook his head. "You'll find out soon."

"Wait a minute. What are you talk—OI! AKATSUKI! COME BACK!"

**Kain: Reviews are appreciated.**

**Aidou: THAT WAS MY LINE.**

**Kain: You child.**


	7. Stalking

**Me:…So it's been a long time since I updated gais….GAIS?**

**Aidou: Che! Pathetic human. Everyone left because you haven't updated these past months.**

**Me: AWWW! COME ON GAIS! I GOT A BOYFRIEND. YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR ME. I was "living the life" as we speak it. You know…being socially awkward, while making derpy faces. GIVE ME A CHANCE.**

**Kain: They're not pleased.**

**Kaname: Nobody ever is when it comes to the author.**

**Me: Well fack you gais too. Anyway, Mamor—I MEAN ZERO.**

**Zero: What?**

**Me: DISCLAIMER PREASE.**

**Zero: -_- Totoro504 does not own Vampire Knight. It belongs strictly to Matsuri Hino. **

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

**Stalking**

Aidou should have known better than to tell Miki to look at him more than Shiki. He really should have. Oh she abode to his side of the agreement all right. But damn, she looked at him so much, _too much_, he was beginning to get creeped out by a mere human (suspected of being werewolf). Everywhere he went, he _always _felt eyes watching him: In school, showering, eating, sleeping, _morning time_—when the girl was supposed to be in class. Dark bags were beginning to form under his beautiful crystal blue eyes and he was getting ticked off by the constant _Miki Stalker!_ As Aidou now dubbed her politely. Well, not so politely because she was watching him every second.

Kain smirked, glancing at his cousin haughtily. "Starting to regret telling her to look at your more now huh?" he asked, arrogantly. He did warn him. But noooooo. Aidou swore under his breath, feeling the need to punch the orange-haired male's throat violently. That would just be so uncivilized of him, and his nobility pride would not allow him to resort to violence…_yet_. Nobility pride can fuck itself when the time comes.

"Shut up," Aidou growled, stuffing his dirty shirt into the laundry basket. He sniffed. Ugh, it had smelled like sweat and…_Why does it smell like fucking noodles? _Oh crap…WHAT IF MIKI HAD SNUCK INTO HIS ROOM AND STOLE HIS CLOTHES AND THREW IT IN A BOILING POT OF RAMEN?

The blonde's thoughts were rudely interrupted by Kain's, "I told you so."

He scowled. "_I told you so_—shut up Akatsuki! No one asked for your damn opinions."

"It doesn't matter if anyone asked for my opinions. I can express it anyway since I have the freedom to." And here comes the politics. "In Japan's government, you have the right to—"

"OI! RUKA! Your potential boyfriend snuck into your room yesterday and tried to steal your panties! It was the lacy pink one by the way. Your favorite."

The mahogany door to their expensive room slammed open, the doorknob hitting the wall and bouncing off a bit. The strawberry blonde woman screamed, "WHAT?"

Kain stared at the livid vampire with a blank expression. "I did no such thing. And the supposedly favorite one you're wearing, would be under Hanabusa's bed. I checked yesterday when I tried cleaning it for him."

Ruka's face had taken a bright shade of red, and she marched over to Aidou's bed and looked beneath it. Indeed, there laid that one single undergarment under his bed mixed in with tons of random junk that Kaname had either touched or wanted to throw away. She swiped it quickly and threw a scathing look at the calm blonde. "Why is my undergarment underneath your bed?" she exclaimed, jabbing a finger in his direction.

"I just needed it in case Akatsuki broke out into his politics rant."

"…Again?"

"Mmhmm."

Ruka had eased up, and seemed understanding, nodding in approvement. "Fine. You're off this time. But steal someone else's stuff instead of mine to get out of Kain's stupid speech!"

"Hey! My politics rant isn't that bad."

Cue, the flat expression.

"…You know, there was this one time when the Shinsengumi had existed," Kain began, and then blinking repeatedly when Ruka and Aidou walked out the room together hurriedly. "I can't be _that_ boring."

Kaname was merely passing by to deliver some papers to Ichijou when he overheard Kain's comments from outside. He peered in, and with a delightful smile, said," You are."

"…Thanks Kaname-sama."

"You welcome."

* * *

There was just something strange that she could not fathom. Aidou had been acting so very…well, _different_. Which was beginning to contradict the fanfic's title. Miki leaned back in her chair and grumbled incoherent words—annoyed. Had he been hit in the head or something? "First he tells me to look at him more than Shiki, and then he ignores me when he told me to meet up with him tomorrow. It's been like three weeks! Hell, he doesn't even say hit to me anymore!"

"Didn't he used to do that before?" Yakama snorted, scribbling in her pink diary.

"Yeah. But that was _before_ we were friends!"

"Maybe he doesn't want to be you friend anymore?"

"That's preposterous! I'm so cool, there's no way he doesn't want _not_ to be my friend! Without me, he'll be lonely and bored!" Miki exclaimed, thrusting her hand up in a fist pump.

"You have a huge ego. Perhaps that's why he doesn't want to be your friend anymore. Plus, you are really mean to him."

"I'm not mean."

"Yes you are! You're always _mocking_ him!"

"It's funny!"

"No it's not. It's just downright _horrible_ and _crude_." Yakama glared at her, and put her diary aside. "Aidou probably got tired of putting up with your crap. That's why he doesn't want to be near you anymore."

"…Now _that's_ not funny. That's a horrible joke mate."

"That wasn't a joke. That was a _suggestion_."

"Well it wasn't a very funny suggestion," Miki murmured, frowning. Secretly, she could feel herself agreeing with Yakama. "I don't think Aidou would want to avoid me just because I'm mean. I know I can be a dick, but still I can't be _that_ bad, right?"

"You sold half naked pictures of him in the shower to rabid fan girls. They scanned those pictures and posted it online. The government got involved at one point because it was considered child pornography since he's "under eighteen". Didn't expect the pictures to become a hit online huh? This is why I think he has a valid reason to avoid you."

"…He does but…"

Yakama rolled her eyes. "And you still have a but."

"Oh come on! **_But_** we're friends! Friends do these type of things!"

"Do what? Torture each other?"

"It's just a banter!"

There was a silence that passed between them, and Yakama had long forgotten about the diary she left besides her bed. The bed that Miki was currently sitting on, pretending to be nervous when in fact, she was actually reading through the page of the day—trying to contain a snicker when she saw Kain's name written in it about twenty times. Yakama interrupted. "Hey. You actually tease Aidou-senpai a lot more than you do for anybody. Is it possible that you could be developing feelings for him like in those cliché stories you read online?"

Miki blinked, and then chortled with delight. "Haha! Hell naw! As if I have a crush on Aidou! LOL—I mean laugh out loud. Or should I say: ROFL! OMG! LOLOLOLOLOL! Besides, I think he's the one that has issues in our friendship. In fact, I'M STARTING TO HATE HIM. EVERYTHING IS HIS FAULT." Partially his fault, but who was actually keeping count?

"Shut up before I find a cliff, climb it, and then throw you off of it."

"Fine. UGH! RUDE PEOPLE THESE DAYS!"

"You're the rude….Are you reading my diary?"

"Of course."

"YOU'RE READING MY DIARY!"

"I just admitted it like, a second ago—"

"**YOU WERE READING MY FUCKING DIARY!**"

"_I KNOW."_

"**I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!**"

Miki tried distracting her anger by pointing out something that would normally make any girls cry. "For a girl, you have extremely hairy legs. Did you know that? Usually, most Japanese people don't have hair. But you're like, a dog. Does that mean you like to do it doggy style?"

"…I don't like razors…" Yakama muttered, anger disappearing immediately.

"Oh…Want to tell me why? I promise I will (try) to keep it a secret." Unless someone paid her a lot of money for it.

"My tongue got stuck in a razor."

"How?"

"I was trying to shave my taste buds off."

"…"

"I WAS ONLY SIX! I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER!"

"Hey, you remember that time you told me to take those chopsticks and shove it up my booty hole?" Miki said randomly, with a blank expression. She stared at the diary with expressionless eyes still, trying to read the scribbles. (It was a wonder why Yakama hadn't put it away when Miki admitted to looking through her privacy a few minutes ago.)

"What about it?"

"I did it."

"….What?"

"It really hurt."

"Is it…still up there?"

"_Yep_." She popped the 'p' sound making the 'peh!' sound.

"You are fucking stupid."

"Thanks. But seriously, will you be the donut to my banana?"

"...Okay."

The fake blonde suddenly erupted into a scream, "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR SHITTY PAST WITH THE RAZOR BLADE!"

"Wait a minute, what?"

"IT WAS POINTLESS! POINTLESS LIKE THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION! POINTLESS LIKE THE ENTIRE STORY TO OUR OWN LIVES! POINTLESS LIKE THIS ENTIRE RANT! POINTLESS LIKE A DAMN PENCIL I NEED FOR AN EXAM! IT'S ONLY GOOD IN THE BEGINNING UNTIL IT STARTS APPROACHING TO THE MIDDLE OF THE…THE…The…"

"Point?"

"YEAH. POINT. POINTLESS. JUST. FUCKING. POINTLESS."

Yakama had a crestfallen look and she retracted into a corner, a dark aura emitting from her. "What are you trying to say?"

"Me? Oh, I really have nothing to say."

"Why?"

"I just wanted to break the fourth wall."

* * *

"KAIN! KAIN!" Miki ran up to the orange-haired male energetically, ramming her muscular (yet feminine) shoulders into his chest. The vampire inhaled sharply and fell back on the ground, air knocked out of his lungs.

_Fuck that was a hard hit, _Kain thought to himself, staring at the blue sky exasperated as everyone around the vicinity began whispering. Ugh. The others would never be able to let him live this moment down. Ever. He sat up, clutching a hand near his chest as he tried to regulate his breathing. He looked up and wheezed out a, "Yes Watanabe?"

She grinned, not deterred by the pained vampire. "Can you say bitter chocolate?"

"…What?" Why was she wearing that weird snapback? And what the hell was with all the bejeweled crap on it? He furrowed his eyebrows, not comprehending the situation he put himself in (unintentionally).

"Say bitter chocolate," Miki repeated.

"Uhh…" Kain threw a glance at Kaname, and he had thrown him a casual (sadistic) smile. Awkwardly, he stated, "Bit-tuh cho-ko-rei-teh."

"Great. Now say dear my lady, burning lady."

"Dear my lady, burning lady!" Kain repeated, although it sounded like he was singing very enthusiastically. All of his fan girls squealed and passed out. Just like that.

Miki gave him a thumb's up. "Thanks dude! I just recorded you, and now I can upload it on Youtube. Or…You know, sell it to my customers for a very high price." She took off the hat and tugged on the bejeweled items to reveal it was a decorated hidden camera. "It'll become viral!"

"But wait…why did you record me?"

"Oh, it's because you sound like this guy named Jinguji Ren from _Uta no Prince-sama_!"

Ichijou, ever the anime lover, gasped and appeared next to her, "I _love_ that show!"

"Oh my gosh! Same here! Who's your favorite character?" Miki asked, grabbing his hands.

"Ittoki's my favorite character!"

"MINES TOO!" They both jumped up and down together excitedly.

Kain scooted away from the two fan girls and closer to the jealous blonde. He bent down near Aidou's ear level and whispered, "Do you know what they're talking about?"

Aidou seethed, "No. But I'm going to kill Ichijou for holding her hands."

"Wait a minute…Why are you jealous? Aren't you annoyed with her for stalking you? Isn't that the reason why you have been avoiding her?"

"…_So_?"

"Hanabusa, you're not making any sense."

"I don't need to make sense. I'm fabulous," Aidou huffed, flipping his blonde hair flamboyantly. He made eye contact with Miki for a second, gaping when she glanced in a different direction hurriedly. "Did she…Did she just try to...I'm going to kill her," he growled.

Ruka giggled at the scene and shook her head. "He's so immature."

Shiki witnessed Miki and Aidou's behavior and snorted in delight. _They're both immature and childish. They would make a cute couple, _the red head thought randomly, smiling a bit_._ Shiki then nodded calmly to Ruka's earlier statement. "I concur."

Rima rolled her eyes. "You always do—"

"HEY KAIN!" Everyone flinched at the screech. The fake blonde's voice hurt the vampire's sensitive ears whenever she screamed.

Kain hid behind Aidou and peered over his head. "What now?"

"DO YOU PLAY BASKETBALL?"

"Hu—"

"CATCH!"

Miki pulled a ball out of her snapback magically and chucked it at his face. Automatically, Kain grabbed the back of Aidou's collar and used him as a shield. The red ball hit him in the face squarely and dropped on the ground, bouncing on the floor and back to Miki. "YOU BRAT!" Aidou exclaimed, glaring at Miki with anger. He jabbed a finger at her face irately. "You did that on purpose didn't you!"

She disregarded his comment and promptly screamed out, "AOOOMIINNEEE!" Then she threw it back at Aidou's face.

Kain intercepted and stated harshly, "The only one who can beat me, is me." Wow, he was so out of character today—first politics, then his singing, and now his basketballs.

Ichijou jumped enthusiastically and clapped, "I love _Kuroko no Basuke_ too!"

"Silly otaku. Everyone does. Although their necks are kind of drawn weirdly…Like, have you _seen_ the black diagonal lines and the shading? Weird shit."

"But the anime show is pretty good still compared to _Prince of Tennis_."

"HEY YOU SON OF A BITCH! THAT ANIME IS AWESOME. A-W-E-S-U-M!"

"I think you spelled awesome wrong."

Miki crossed her arms immediately. "Fack you. I'm pretty sure I spelled awesome correctly because my intelligence is far better than yours….JK. Haha, me being smarter than a geezer like you? Ha. I sho smartsicecicles." Ichijou and Miki then began getting into a heated debate between which anime was good or not when Ichijou commented on her IQ level because she couldn't tell which anime was nice. Aidou was secretly observing the human in silence.

_Irritating_. She's talking to everyone else. Everyone except for _him_. Aidou stalked up to her and rudely bumped his shoulders against her, stalking past Miki indignantly. Yeah, that will teach her to screw with him. Miki should be begging him for his forgiveness for watching him twenty-four-seven. He glanced back, smirking haughtily when he saw her glaring at him. _She should be apologizing any minute now._ "What do you want?"

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for an apology, I can tell you I don't have any sympathy. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you don't leave me alone, I'll let it be. But if you want to start things up, I will look for you. I will find you, and I will rustle your jimmies." Miki punched her fist into his shoulders rigidly and strode away coolly. "Jackass."

That _wasn't _the reaction Aidou had been expecting at all.

* * *

"You actually used the Tristan Barker phrase on Aidou-senpai?" Yakama asked, furrowing her eyebrows together.

"Mhmm. I thought it was brilliant." Miki threw her uniform in the hamper and threw jogging pants and a large white t-shirt on herself. She grinned cheekily. "I'm so sexay, all de boys wants mez. Probably because I'm a Mary-Sue."

"Ew. Stop."

"MY EYES CHANGES COLORS DEPENDING ON MY MOOD! MY FAKE BLONDE HAIR JUST SHINES IN THE SUN AND DDAZZLES LIKE DIAMONDS! MY SKIN IS SO FLAWLESS…AND FLAWLESS. FEELS LIKE A BABY'S BUTT! I AM SO DIFFERENT BECAUSE OF MY TALL HEIGHT TOO, COMPARED TO ALL THESE SHORT CHINKS!"

"**STAHP!**"

"Pfft. Fine. I'm going to go meet up with Aidou now," Miki retorted. Yakama continued screaming the word stop repeatedly, eyes closed and ears covered with the palm of her hands. "I see how that is. WHAT A GREAT FRIEND YOU ARE." Discreetly, she left the room while screaming at the top of her lungs before shutting the door. Grinning in success, she turned around and flinched in horror when she met a pair of blue eyes. "It's you…"

"Shut up and come with me." Aidou grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the girl's dorm quickly. Had Miki not been good at sports, she would have stumbled and tripped over feet. Scratch that out. Despite the fact that the girl had been adept with physical activities, she _did_ trip over her feet. The entire time, she let Aidou drag her out the place while the bottom of her feet dug into the ground causing the shiny floors to screech because of her unpolished sneakers.

"Hey, asshat! What are you doing?" Miki said dryly. They made it out of the dorm, and were now surrounded by trees and leaves. Oh, and a little pond was on the side. How delightful. She crossed her arms and glared at him. Aidou stared at her with a mixture of concern and confusion.

"You're angry at me," he stated.

"…Yeesssss? Annndd?" The fuck was this shit?

"Why?"

She blinked and took a step back. "What the hell do you mean by why? Why what? Why haven't I got a sex change yet? Cause I can't do that. It sounds like it hurts."

He slapped his forehead in frustration. "No you idiot! Why are you angry at me?" In all honesty, Aidou doesn't know why he's so concerned about how she feels towards him. He shouldn't be worried at all. He should be rejoicing over the fact that he got any emotion out of her that doesn't involve coming from idiocy. After all, she was the one stalking him for pure entertainment.

"Oh." Her grey colored eyes bored into his, and Aidou gulped. It just wasn't the, "OMG! I'M SO FACKING MAD AT HIM!" type of anger. Miki was downright _furious. _Her eyes told him a story that involved his body being buried in a desolate island after she tears his pretty face apart. "Three weeks ago, you told me to look at you more and said we should meet up the next day to plan out how we're going to get Kain and Ai together. You lied. You ditched me. Not only that, but I received no apology for being stood up. _Also, _you blatantly ignored me each time I made an attempt to talk to you. What kind of friend does that!"

_Okay, _so she did have a good reason to be mad at him. Aidou retorted snappishly, "Well, I wouldn't have ignored you if you didn't stalk me all the time! What kind of _friend_ does _that_? I mean look at me! I'm getting skinnier each day, and I'm forming dark circles underneath my eyes!"

"Hold up a second! I do not stalk you! I look at you more, yeah. BUT I DON'T STALK YOU. I rather stalk Zero over you any day!" Miki shouted, waving her hands frantically. "I mean look at you! You've got chicken legs! Zero has the hot legs from running around a lot. Hot legs over chicken legs any day! AND AT LEAST HE HAS THE MYSTERIOUS AURA AROUND HIM!"

He gasped. "I do not have the chicken legs!"

"Yuh huh!"

"I'm better than Zero!"

"Your voice is annoying compared to his!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Aidou has pride issues, okay?

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE BACK THE STALKING COMMENT! I AM NOT A STALKER!"

"YOU HAVE **_CAMERAS_** INSTALLED AROUND, AND _IN_, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!"

"SO?"

"ARGH! Forget it!" Aidou screamed, pulling at his nice blonde hair in defeat. "It's impossible to have a decent conversation with you! I don't know why I try anymore! Talking to you is like trying to comprehend what a monkey's actions means! Even then, I can understand the monkey more than you! And the monkey is an animal for goodness sake!"

"Actually, we humans are considered animals too. Hell, we're far more intelligent, but we're still animals. At least we humans don't drink blood from each other like you weird ass vampires," Miki corrected haughtily. _Oh yeah, I'm so fucking smart_.

"Shut up!"

"Aidou."

"What?" he snapped impishly. Looking back at her, his jaw dropped when he saw fangs protruding from her teeth. "You…You're a…"

Miki grinned widely in response, red eyes sparkling in glee.

"I'm a fucking walrus."

* * *

**Me: I just want to clarify some things: NO. She is NOT a VAMPIRE. AND YOU WILL DISCOVER WHY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.**

**Aidou: When's the next chapter? Three months from now?**

**Me:…Perhaps….**

**Aidou: I knew it.**

**OMAKE-THAT-IS-NOT-REALLY-OMAKE-BUT-AUTHOR-NOTES-IN-STORY-FORMAT**

"This chapter didn't really make any sense," Kain sighed, rubbing his forehead.

Yakama pursed her lips, her face pink in embarrassment at being next to her crush. "W-Well this is supposed to be a humorous story. Nothing is supposed to make sense I guess. It's just mainly random things poking fun at Vampire Knight for being so emo and depressing."

"That is true…I would rather put up with this than hearing that Yuuki girl screaming Zero's and Kaname-sama's name one hundred times per episode."

"But it's cute!" Yakama protested, her inner lesbian leaking out.

"And annoying," Kain added.

"…I'm breaking up with you."

Kain furrowed his eyebrows and watched her walk away. "Were we going out?"

Aidou shook his head. "Akatsuki, you know nothing about girls and love."

"You're not one to talk."

"I'm amazing."

"Liar."

"—AND THEN LIGHT YAGAMI TOLD ME I WOULD MAKE A FABULOUS KILLER!"

"Someone, shoot the author."


End file.
